LOST: Juliet explains it all to you

LOST is having another spectacular season. Every episode is a mind blower. In case you’re not up to speed, I was able to secure this letter that castaway Juliet (pictured above) sent to her sister. She recaps the series far better than I.

Dear sis,

Sorry it’s been awhile since my last letter. But you know how crazy things get on the island. Someone suggested I send this “priority” to speed up the process but it still goes out on the same submarine.

The weather has been nice lately. Occasional late day showers but that’s pretty much it. The foliage is gorgeous and the mangos are plentiful. Oh, and it’s 1977 now. Seems the island can go through time. They never tell you these things in the brochure. Yes, it’s an adjustment but Captain & Tennille will be performing on the island on the 8th with special guest stars, the Bay City Rollers.

I’m no longer living in a hastily constructed primitive tent on the beach. I’m now in a suburban housing community. I’ve become a member of the Dharma Initiative. I don’t know what they do exactly but I think it involves science and finding a starring vehicle for Jenna Elfman.

I’ve changed jobs. No more prenatal research and sniper assignments for me. Now I’m an auto mechanic. They must’ve gotten a deal on VW vans here because that’s all you see. But I’ve been impressed. They say Chevy trucks are built tough but these babies can drive through the cloud monster without stalling. I still do deliver babies once in awhile. It’s just that my hands are not as clean. Oh, guess what? Michelle from 24 is here. I just delivered her baby last week. If you see Tony Almeida and he isn’t being tortured by terrorists tell him he’s a daddy.

I have a new boyfriend. His name is either Sawyer or James or LeFleur. I don’t know what to call out in bed. He used to be a bad boy but now he’s settled down and has a really good job as the head of security – protecting us from the pesky hostiles that live out in the jungle and want to kill us all for no apparent reason. It might have something to do with Jenna Elfman being a Scientologist but I dunno.

I can almost see you smirking. Sawyer/James/LaFleur and before that Jack and before that Ben and before that the married guy that Ben killed – I am such a slut. But actually, the last three were in the 21st century so in a sense they don’t count… yet.

To tell you the truth, I’m a little worried about my relationship with Sawyer/James/LaFleur. That bitch Kate is back! Of all the years she could have time traveled to why did it have to be this one? Why she’s back at all I don’t know. Gee, now that I think about it, there’s a lot of shit I don’t know about that’s going on around here. Anyway, if she gets within ten feet of him I’m going to go medieval on her bony ass or at least go back to Jack. He’s also here now. Along with Hurly so there goes half our food supply.

Hey, the good news about being back in 1977 – TAB with cyclamates are back!

More good news – Jin survived that massive freighter explosion. He’s now with us speaking better English that Hurly. And his wife Sun is on the island too but it’s been hard for them to arrange a time to get together since he’s in 1977 and she’s in 2007.

Ben as a child is here as well. I’ve discreetly left diagrams of a vagina in his school notebook. Maybe this time when he grows up he’ll know what the hell a clitoris is.

Okay. Gotta run. The alarms are sounding. The polar bear is loose. Say hi to everyone. And if you can find a valve cover gasket for a 1977 VW van please send it.

Love,

Juliet

Oh, Mighty Isis!

One of the better parts of DC's "52" series was the tragic romance of Black Adam and Isis. It was a kick-ass storyline, but it also reminded me of a TV show I loved as a little kid: "The Secrets of Isis." It wasn't as iconic as the "Wonder Woman" series with Lynda Carter, but it definitely made an impression on me. It ran from 1975-77, around the same time that WW and "The Bionic Woman" were on the air. In those pre-"Buffy," pre-cable days, it was a very big deal to have shows about three strong, heroic women on the air at the same time — especially to a little girl having, shall we say, issues with playground assholes. (And yes, I seriously used to pretend to be Isis and say, "Oh zephyr winds that blow on high, lift me now so I can fly!")

I had no idea the show was on DVD, and I'd be curious to see how it holds up after 30 years. Probably not that well, but that doesn't make the show's existence any less awesome. Judge for yourself by watching a clip. Isis makes her appearance around the 1:17 mark.

Takara - World Smallest Transformers Series I - Soundwave

Continuation of my featuring of World Smallest Transformers. This is from my one and only Series I collection which I bidded on eBay around 2006. This one here cost me aroun BND$70 !!! I just have to get them when it was listed. Luckily I won the bidding. Now you can't even find this anywhere even on eBay.

Eric's Hobby Collection proudly present to you Soundwave with Ravage from the World Smallest Transformers Series I by Takara

Starscream !!! The one and only not in my collections!!!!









This got to be the smallest Transformers in the collection. Ravage, who will appear in 2009 Transformers 2 movie.

Takara - World Smallest Transformers Series II - Megatron

As promised, this is Megatron, my second World Smallest Transformers Series II collection.
I will let the picture do the talking.

I don't want to say HOUSE stole our POINT OF VIEW episode but...

...tonight's edition of HOUSE is seen through the point of view of a patient. Huh??? David Isaacs and I wrote that in 1978 for MASH. It's kind of a famous episode. I just watched a preview of the HOUSE episode and it looks like the exact same show. Or maybe it’s just an “homage”. You can see the preview here.

I constantly get readers who want to know about POINT OF VIEW so I figured this might be a good time to share the story again.

The problem with constructing “our” version was finding a story to go along with the convention. A soldier is injured, treated and saved by those lovable wacky medicos at the 4077th. But what’s his injury? Where’s the suspense? And more importantly, how does he connect with our central characters?

We heard of a 1947 movie that used this first-person device called LADY IN THE LAKE. It was a Raymond Chandler mystery with Robert Montgomery as detective Philip Marlowe. Or, more accurately, Robert Montgomery’s voice. So we screened the movie. Holy shit! What we found was that when someone talked to Marlowe it was fine, but when Marlowe spoke the other actors had nothing to do but stare uncomfortably into the camera and try to react (this was not Jayne Meadow’s best work). It was sooooo dicey. Not to mention static, boring, and…well, downright creepy.

It seemed to us the key to making this device work was not having the soldier talk. And that sparked our story. What if the patient is hit in the throat? He can’t speak. He must undergo a series of tricky operations (the suspense) until finally he is able to utter only two words –

“Thank…you”.

In the HOUSE version the patient can talk but no one hears him. I haven’t seen the complete episode but even from the preview it seems disconcerting to hear this voice out of nowhere… and that voice is supposed to be you.

Getting back to our story, it now laid itself out pretty easily. We created a B story where Potter forgets his anniversary and the patient informs Hawkeye which leads to the resolution. That way the soldier is directly involved in the story. One of the show’s highlights for me was how masterful Harry Morgan played the scene in which he confided in the young soldier. Not a dry seat in the house!

We wanted to really utilize the visual, give the viewer a different perspective whenever possible. What did it look like actually being in the chopper, gazing down at the camp, being on a stretcher during the insanity of triage, being wheeled into OR?

So much credit for the success of the episode goes to director, Charles Dubin. And remember, he had only three days to film this, not three weeks…or months. And this was 1978, before steady cams. I think D. W. Griffith used this camera to shoot BIRTH OF A NATION. It couldn’t have been heavier or more unwieldy. Judging from the HOUSE preview the camerawork is more fluid but the effect is no more effective.

The MASH cast was marvelous, really rising to the occasion. It’s hard enough to relate to fellow actors, but to play highly emotional scenes looking directly into a camera has to be nearly impossible. Additionally, scenes all had to play out in one take. We couldn’t cut back and forth between characters and angles and takes. To this day I marvel at their skill.

Trivia note: We gave the patient the name Bobby Rich. Bobby is one of my dearest friends, currently hosting a morning radio show in Tucson.

When the show was completed we watched the finished product in a screening room. I was horrified. There was Radar’s giant head filling this huge screen, addressing all of us tiny ants in the theater. AAAAAAGH!!! As I sat in the dark, contemplating my next career, I wondered how I could reconcile the fact that I personally had destroyed MASH. How’s THAT going to look on my resume?

The show aired on a Monday night during November sweeps. I almost didn’t watch it. When it began I cringed. A few moments into it Radar appeared. And a strange thing happened. The show suddenly worked.

Seeing Radar’s head on a TV screen, the comparable size of most human beings (Only Barry Bonds has a head the size of Radar’s on the silver screen.) the audience was able to buy the conceit. I can’t tell you how relieved I was. By the act break I canceled my 11 PM flight to Antarctica.

I look back at that show today with great pride. We were allowed to take risks. Encouraged to take risks. And even if the show had been the “GLEN OR GLENDA of television” that it appeared to be that dark day in the screening room, I would still be proud to be a part of it. To the cast and crew and everyone involved in POINT OF VIEW, all I can say is –

“Thank you”.

And now I can take our script, change Hawkeye to House and I have a spec drama to show around.

Even I can't get an agent

The difficulty in securing an agent is not confined to those writers just starting out. I tried to get a theatrical agent when I wrote my play a few years ago and hit a brick wall, even with my resume. And I didn’t list AfterMASH so I know it’s not that.

The Hollywood literary agency that represented me did not have a theater department so when I wrote my play a few years ago I decided to get a second agent to handle that facet of my career. Unlike these major conglomerates with three letters that handle screenwriters, theatrical agencies are all boutique. Going down the list it seemed every Jewish girl who wouldn’t go out with me now has an agency.

I made a few calls and found no one was interested. The fact that (a) I wasn’t 25, and (b) they couldn’t cash in on movie rights made me persona non representita. And this was before anyone even bothered to read my play.

Through a playwright friend, I was referred to one agent – we’ll call her Beth B. I had a nice conversation with her, she said she really wasn’t looking to take on new clients but wanted to read my play. So I sent it along with a resume. Two weeks later I get a letter from her. The first sentence was “Ohmygod, I had no idea you co-created ALMOST PERFECT!” She went on to say it was her favorite show, the writing was brilliant, she wrote a letter to CBS complaining when they cancelled it, it was like we were in her bedroom, and she was often confused for our star, Nancy Travis. I thought – I am IN!

Next paragraph – pass.

Okay. Whatever.

A few months later I was in New York and decided to call her again. Sometimes when people meet they click and who knows? Maybe she’d have a change of heart. She agreed to meet with me.

It took three trains to get down to her agency. Every other agency was in mid-town, in the theatre district. This one was in the land of discount sneakers and checks cashed while you wait. Once there, after waiting a good half hour, Beth B. finally appeared and ushered me back to her office. My first thought upon seeing her was – Nancy Travis? The only thing she had in common with Nancy Travis was that they both breathed air. Beth B. was large, horn rimmed glasses, and had giant frizzy Carole King hair.

After the pleasantries, she explained that she liked to represent hot young playwrights who lived in New York. The key to her was they’d be able to go to openings and readings and be seen in all the right places.

I said, “what if I produced my play in LA and it got good reviews?” She said that would be disastrous for it ever getting mounted in New York. I suggested that maybe the New York theatre scene was a tad elitist, fully expecting her to back off and say “No, no, not at all.” Instead, she said proclaimed, “Yes, that’s right.” I was a little thrown and wondered if New York had the theatre to support it. “Suessical? Thousand Clowns with Tom Sellick? Annie Get Your Gun with Crystal Bernard? There weren’t exactly new Arthur Miller or Tennessee Williams pieces starring Brando or Burton coming in this season.”

It was clear we were not “clicking”. So finally, I asked Beth B. what advice she could give me? She thought for a moment and finally said, “Write”. I said, “Excuse me?” She repeated it. “Write. I find that the first play is an introduction, the second gets a reading, the third gets a workshop, and the fourth maybe gets a production. So just keep writing.”

I nodded and finally said, “Beth, that’s great advice. In fact, it’s the same advice I’ve been giving young writers… for THIRTY YEARS. But since I’ve had more of my work produced on a national level than all your clients combined times ten I think I can SKIP A STEP.”

Beth B. was not on the invite list for my New York reading.

I know it’s discouraging when an agent doesn’t want you, but always remember, there are plenty of agents out there that YOU don’t want. If it takes more time to find a better match it’s worth it.

Takara - World Smallest Transformers Series II - Optimus Prime

This is the World Smallest Transformers range from Takara and certified by the World Guinness Record. As you noticed, I mentioned only the name Takara and not the usual TakaraTomy. Wanna guess ? Well back then Takara was still an individual company before it take over Tomy around March 2006. After the merging they are now one of the largest toys company in Japan only to be shadowed by Bandai.

This was sold in Chong Hock Music Center back then around 2004. Each costing only $15.90. Now as you can see, price for this stuff had sky rocketed at eBay and other collectors section.

For the next few days, I will feature all the Transformers I had collected for this ranges. Todays featuring will be Optimus Prime.

The Series II collections with secret

Prowl, Sideswipe, Thrust

Optimus Prime, Megatron, Jazz

" Autobots Roll out "

Optimus Prime with weapon and leaflet



Comparing the size with our BND 10cents

Yes, its transformable too!


Asking price for Optimus Prime in eBay is about BND60-70


What have we got here ? White Optimus ? No, its ULTRA Magnus! one of the hidden secret character of Series II collection

Side by side comparison


" Did you know eBay asking price for my character now is over BND$150!!! " said Ultra Magnus







next preview.....Megatron !

More Mary Tyler

Thanks to reader, Benson, here is the rest of that MARY episode. The first part can be found here.

WTF!?

Back to Phoenix for one last weekend of Spring Training. That Cactus League pennant race is really heating up. The excitement is palpable. Anyway, here are some Friday questions. What's yours??

First up, Joe:

What's it like when a guest star comes in and wants to "help" in the episode he or she will be acting. I'm specifically thinking of John Cleese on Cheers.

That episode was brilliantly written by Peter Casey & David Lee. They just perfectly captured his voice and during the week of production Cleese might have offered some minor suggestions and tweaks but what you see is what Peter & David wrote.

When David Isaacs and I wrote the CHEERS episode with Johnny Carson I went to Mr. Carson before the filming and offered to change anything he didn’t feel was right and he said, “Nope. This is great.” And he did it word for word. I love that man.

Speaker of the House, Tip O’Neill guested on CHEERS season one. The original scene had him at a urinal next to Norm. He didn’t think that was appropriate (congressmen actually were worthy of respect back then) so we adjusted the scene.

I do seem to recall directing Mike Ditka once and he suggested a couple of joke fixes. I then gave him some coaching tips.

John wonders:

Ken, with the more permissive (and HBO-inspired) rules the networks have adopted for their show content in the past 10-15 years, are there any episodes you and David did from the 70s and 80s that you look back at now and think it could have been done better if some of the gags allowed today would have been permitted by Standards and Practices back then (or would looser rules resulted in the network folks forcing more shows to gratuitously sexual innuendo-up their dialogue and plot lines because they thought it would add a rating point or two)?

It really depends on the episode and subject matter. Yes, there are a lot of shows we wrote that more license would have been appreciated. But there is also something to be said for being able to be funny and sophisticated without having to resort to profanity. Sometimes that added license leads to easy but cheap laughs. It takes a little skill and elegance to come up with a genuine funny response instead of just having the character say “What the fuck?!” Both will get a laugh. Especially if Johnny Carson says it.

Rogers Motley of Richmond Virginia asks:

With all of the hubbub surrounding the changing of the guard at the NBC late night talk shows, what do you think makes a good late night television talk show host?

Most talk show hosts can be funny and spontaneous (to some degree) but the big question is can they connect with the audience? Is there a likeability? Can viewers really relate to this person? It’s a real X factor that doesn’t depend on age or even nationality. Craig Ferguson has it.

The humor can be biting, gentle, sly, topical, whatever – but the key element is this: The audience has to get the feeling that it’s the host and them against the world, not the host against them. I personally find Letterman much funnier than Leno but at times I feel he crosses that line and the jibes are at the audience’s expense. Leno never does that. And for my money, that’s why he beats Letterman even though David has the far superior show.

And then there’s Tyra Banks. What the fuck?!

It was Motown week on AMERICAN IDOL

And one of the Top 10 contestants was even African-American!

Smokey Robinson served as the guest mentor. Younger people didn’t recognize him. I’m sure older people who know what he used to look like didn’t recognize him either. Do not go to Diana Ross’ plastic surgeon! You didn’t find it strange that his office was in Madam Tussaud’s Wax Museum?

The key word this season is “artist”, thus adding a new level of pretension to the cheese. I blame Kara. “It’s not about singing”, she whined last night, “it’s about artistry”. She’s saying this to kids singing “Rockin’ Robin”.

Matt Giraud kicked off the five hour show in high style singing Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get it On”. The judges were universally knocked out by his choreography – and by that I mean he stepped away from the piano and sang standing next to it. Wow!!!! Somewhere in heaven Bob Fosse is humbled. Matt’s bluesy rendition was undercut somewhat by his wardrobe -- a tie and sweater. Or maybe I just don’t get “Osmond Soul”.

Kris Allen sang Marvin’s “How Sweet It Is” but really should’ve sung Diana’s “I’m Coming Out”.

Who hates Scott McIntyre so much that they let him walk out on stage in pink pants? I mean, that’s the kind of prank you reserve for Hitler. Scott turned the Supreme’s “You Can’t Hurry Love” into a Hall & Oates song.

At this point in the show Paula said she had something for Simon and disappeared under the desk. Tell me every person in America wasn’t thinking blowjob. And wasn’t surprised. When she emerged she had coloring books and crayons. She says it’s because Simon acts like he’s 6, but in truth she was just giving him her memoirs to proof. Later, Simon drew a mustache on her. I suppose there are some nights when that's what Paula looks like when she applies her lipstick.

Megan Joy sported a Connie Stevens hairdo and bludgeoned “For Once In My Life”. I imagine she made the same sounds when they were burning the tattoos into her arm.

Anoop Desai did Smokey’s “Oooh Baby Baby”. Paula said, “You have a new found confidence but I want to see more confidence.” You laugh but it’s the smartest thing she’s said all season.

Michael Sarver sang “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” all the while pickin’ and a-grinnin’. I guess when a boy from Jasper, Texas pleads to a girl to not dump him he smiles because if she doesn’t comply he can just tie her ankles and throw her in a sack.

Lil Rounds belted out “Heat Wave”. She should have chosen, “What Does it Take to Win Your Love?” because she sang great yet the judges were lukewarm. They were disappointed because they felt Motown was her genre and she should have killed. Jesus. I don’t know what more she could have done other than marry Berry Gordy.

Danny Gokey is just so gosh darned likable. He can sing, he can smile, he’s America’s mascot.

Allison Irahets is a 40-year-old divorced mother of Mickey Rourke’s twins living in the body of a 16-year-old. When all her friends are watching High School Musical she must be watching Hud. Her version of “Papa Was a Rolling Stone” was raw and real and would be the best performance of any night…

except…

Adam Lambert’s was even better. Wearing his hair in a pompadour and looking like Elvis before he started gulping whole cakes at a time, Adam performed an absolutely exquisite version of “Tracks of My Tears”. Controlled, heartbreaking, and wholly original. I thought Paula, Kara, and Smokey were all going to rush the stage to kiss him on the mouth. Adam is clearly smarter, more innovative, and talented than all the other contestants, and even when he misfires (“Ring of Fire” is not a vampire anthem) he’s still fascinating.

I think it’s Michael’s turn to get the boot and when he sings “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg” to the judges hoping for a reprieve, I bet the meaning of the song will finally dawn on him.