Hey, who stole my flamingo?!

Or...my favorite pitch meeting ever.
In 1978 my partner, David Isaacs and I were head writers of MASH. That fall we also signed on to write a pilot for CBS. Our producer was Allan Carr (pictured above). He was this rather flamboyant character famous for throwing lavish parties in the “King Tut Disco” in his home, producing such films as SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER and GREASE, and winning a Tony for producing LA CAGE AUS FOLLES on Broadway. He looked like composer Paul Williams -- short, cherubic, bespectacled.

We arranged a meeting to pitch our pilot story. Since we were dealing with MASH all day the meeting was set for 6 PM at his Benedict Canyon mansion (“Hillhaven Lodge”, complete with a giant eight foot Oscar statue in the driveway.)

We show up and are told by the butler he’s not ready. The butler ushered us onto the lovely outdoor patio where a bottle of wine was waiting for us as well as a Chasen’s ice mountain of fresh seafood. An hour later we’re still waiting although the bottle is now empty. And we start getting a little giddy. We were wondering how we could steal one of his ceramic flamingos. Would Allan notice the two long flamingo legs sticking out of my briefcase? We were really starting to get punchy.

Finally, we hear “Hello, hello” and quickly put on our serious game faces. A moment later Allan sweeps in wearing nothing but a flowing white caftan…and a layer of thick white cold cream all over his face. Holy shit! We almost lost it.

And now, not only must we somehow maintain decorum, we have to pitch a complete pilot story. Behind Allan sat the flamingos, making it even worse.

We somehow managed to get through it. Imagine this surreal scene – a normal pitch meeting, the producer and writers polishing a story, trading ideas, everyone acting as though there’s nothing unusual even though the producer is in a dress with Crisco dripping from his face.

We wrapped up the meeting, said goodbye, shook hands, he closed the front door, and we rolled around on his front lawn for 45 minutes laughing.

The pilot didn’t go thank God because shortly after that Allan had his stomach stapled. Lord knows what the story meetings were like following that.

Two GREAT quotes!

From Christopher Lloyd, co-creator of MODERN FAMILY. This comes from a current article about the show in ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY. If I can read between the lines, I think he's happier at ABC than he was with his previous network.

"Getting notes on creativity from Fox is like getting notes on fashion from the Braille Institute."

And from Jewish Punk Rocker Patrick A. or "Aleph", the 26-year-old founder of Punk Torah, an outreach effort to inspire Jewish spirituality:

"When I'm on stage screaming, hitting my face with a microphone and pouring beer on my head, at least I'm singing about the Torah."

Happy Halloween

This has always been one of my favorite holidays, especially when the kids were little. Taking them trick-or-treating and seeing them so excited and happy was one of the true joys of parenthood. And then eating the candy they collected was fun too. Of course there’s always that one eccentric house. We had a dentist who gave out toothbrushes. Thank goodness he wasn’t a proctologist.

And where I live, near UCLA, there was always a second wave of trick-or-treaters. Later, after the kids had turned in for the night, sorority girls in yummy costumes would ring the bell. I’d be holding the candy bowl for them in one hand and my Emmy in the other.

During Matt & Annie’s elementary school years there was also the annual Halloween carnival. This was a public school catering to the local neighborhood but we were hardly a typical neighborhood. One year I volunteered by making snow cones and Hugh Hefner and his six bimbos strolled up to my cart. He had a kid in the school. A noted soft-porn actress whose children attended the school offered this for the silent auction: A two hour nude session where you could photograph or paint her. The principal graciously declined that offer but I bet it would have brought in a lot more money than the autographed WINGS script I donated.

For the school’s “Haunted House” Gene Simmons participated. He would pop up and stick out that four-foot tongue. One mother was so freaked she literally sued the school.

Ah, good times.

One thing I learned though, Halloween is an OUTDOOR holiday.

My son’s birthday is November 2nd. (Happy upcoming birthday, Matt!). When he turned five Halloween night fell on a Saturday. So for his party we invited a bunch of his friends to the house where I would take them all out trick-or-treating and then they’d come back for pizza and cake. 5-7 PM. No muss. No fuss. Great plan.

Except it rained. No, it POURED.

First off, as parents deposited their kids they asked if we’d take siblings since they couldn’t take them trick-or-treating in the rain. Of course we said yes, and so at 5:00 I had forty screaming crazed children running around my house – chasing each other with hatchets, and fairy wands, and Star Wars phasers. After relentlessly trying to wrangle this supercharged mob I finally sat down on the stairs and took a breath. I was so proud of myself. I had gotten through it. It’s almost 7. Then I checked my watch. 5:20.

If you have little kids enjoy these precious Halloweens. Soon enough they’ll outgrow you, want to be with their friends instead, and trade phasers for tequila shooters. At least I still have my memories… and the sorority girls keep coming around.

One last Halloween note: I’ve always found it odd that Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t believe in this holiday so they stay home…on the only night of the year when people would actually open their doors to them.

Happy Halloween.

Boo!

1:43 Car Models

Here are the detail pictures of the 1:43 that were recently purchased online. These ain't cheap given the scale of the model. I can get a 1:18 car model for the price I have to pay (especially for that McLaren F1 GTR). 1:43 are quite expensive compare to 1:18 because of the details and quality of the models.

BMW McLaren F1 GTR, a legend in the making. The fastest and most expensive cars in the world of automotive history for almost two decades.

Mr.Bean(Rowan Atkinson) owned one but crashed it!


Porsche Boxster (2000), very first generation.


Porsche Boxster s (2002), first generation but a face lifted model

Working with the director of VOLUNTEERS

It’s Friday question day. Only one today but it required a long answer. What's your question???

From Brian Doan:

I was reading Nicholas Meyer's new memoir on a plane this weekend, and he has very kind things to say about the script you and David Isaacs wrote for VOLUNTEERS, how much he loved working on the film, and how he remains proud of the movie, even if it wasn't the big hit everyone wanted it to be.

Just wondering if you have memories of working with Meyer on the film, or stories you might want to share?

We had a lovely experience working with Nick. Best of all, he really did respect the script and only changed it minimally.

Once a film director comes on board the only input and involvement the writer has is what the director graciously allows. All too often the writer will turn in his last draft and the next thing he sees is the finished product a year later – often with horrifying results.

Nick welcomed our involvement from day one. We got to weigh-in on screen tests. We were encouraged to spend time with Tom Hanks to share our vision of the character.

We were invited to Mexico to watch some of the filming but had to decline because we were busy rewriting JEWEL OF THE NILE at the time. Still, we were permitted to watch the dailies that were sent back to LA.

Once the film went into post production we were invited to editing sessions.

Nick always heard us out. He didn’t always follow our suggestions but that’s more than fair.

Our only real disagreement, and I’ve talked about this elsewhere in the blog, was the moment where he had characters break the fourth wall to read a subtitle. We felt it destroyed the reality of the picture and sapped it of any suspense. He argued that it got one of the biggest laughs in the film. How could we take out one of the biggest laughs? He won that battle.

We won another. There’s a scene where the Peace Corps advisor gives volunteer Beth a gift – a Burmese prince (you can watch it below). The joke is that the little statuette had a huge penis. These actually exist, by the way. I have a collection... no, just kidding.

We’re watching the scene on the moviola (a very small screen) and notice that he cuts to a close-up of the statue. We said, that’s not going to play well on the big screen. The penis will be too big. He argued that if we stayed in the master the joke might not be apparent. We said, fine, we’ll see how it works in the test screening. I'm happy to be wrong if it means a moment works.

So we have the big test screening for several hundred people and that close-up of the penis fills the giant screen. And every woman in the audience gasped and shrieked. David and I bolted for the lobby where we laughed so hard we missed the next ten minutes of the film. Needless to say, it came out.

But how’s this for graciousness? That test screening cut was well over two-hours. The goal was to get it down to 90 or 95 minutes. Nick felt he was too close to it and actually let us take a pass and offer cuts. Many of our suggestions he took. Trust me, that's almost unheard of.

Are there things about VOLUNTEERS I wish were different? Sure. Performances, moments, certain scenes and choices. But there are also things that Nick added to the film that were big improvements over what we had intended.

So all in all, a hugely positive experience. Nicholas Meyer is one of the brightest people I ever met and it was a joy just to be in his company, much less collaborate with him.

I’m also envious that he got his memoir published.

Here’s a ten minute segment of VOLUNTEERS that features the Burmese prince scene. It’s about 5 minutes in. This segment also features the famous “Time” joke.

Shawnee Smith

Not to be a name dropper but as we approach Halloween I can honestly say I’m friends with “the Queen of Scream”, “the Goddess of Gore”, “The Whore of Horror?”(no, that doesn’t sound right). Anyway, it’s Shawnee Smith, star of SAW, SAW II, SAW III, SAW IV, SAW V, and because there are still so many unanswered questions: SAW VI.

She is an absolute sweetheart.

I actually go way back with Shawnee. One of her step-parents lived in the same condo complex as my folks in the 70s. I first worked with her in the mid 80s when she was a regular on the sitcom ALL IS FORGIVEN and I did punch-up work.

Quick aside: ALL IS FORGIVEN is a forgotten gem. Created by the Charles Brothers and Howard Gewirtz and Ian Praiser, it was about life on a soap opera and despite great reviews, NBC cancelled it. They were number one then and although ALL IS FORGIVEN was in the Top 30, it wasn’t high enough in the Top 30 for them. More people probably watched one episode than the number of weekly viewers for Jay Leno. I don’t know if ALL IS FORGIVEN is available on DVD or YouTube or the black market, but it’s worth checking out. Meanwhile…

Shawnee went on to do a bunch of movies and plays – I tried to live off the laurels of doing punch-up on ALL IS FORGIVEN -- and we reconnected when Dave Hackel cast her as the ditzy receptionist in BECKER.

I got to direct quite a few BECKERS and discovered her to be a brilliant comedienne.. Everyone thinks it’s easy playing dumb. It’s not. To make a character dumb but real is exceedingly hard. The irony is you have to be incredibly smart to play dumb. You need expert timing, you need to really commit to the character, and you have to make us believe that the stupid things you say are not stupid to you. For my money, the two comediennes who played dumb to perfection were Judy Holliday and Gracie Allen. Both had IQ’s off the charts.

And now Shawnee's delighting audiences wriggling out of reverse bear traps, knifing people, and sorting through entrails. As Amanda, she’s kind of the Kate Hepburn to Tobin Bell’s Jigsaw.

I couldn’t be more thrilled for her success and once everyone in the world is gruesomely tortured and killed I hope she’s return to comedy.

Here’s a montage of her work on BECKER. For SAW clips you’re on your own.

Netflix pick of the month: BODY HEAT

Okay, I’m going to start talking film noir in a few minutes but let’s cut to the chase – I love BODY HEAT for the sex. That’s why I went to see it, that’s why I went back to see it, that’s why I’m recommending it. There’s noir and great breakout performances but all that is a bonus.

BODY HEAT, released in 1981, marked the directorial debut of Lawrence Kasdan, who also wrote the film. Today he’s known as Jake Kasdan’s dad but back then he was writing STAR WARS sequels and INDIANA JONES movies – enough Hollywood currency to warrant a directing nod.

The movie is very noir. I don’t actually know the definition of that word but it seems to be the genre that encompasses night, mood, lust, guilt, illicit passion, double-crosses, triple-crosses, seduction, and if really done right – a hopelessly confusing plot. BODY HEAT satisfies all of that plus a lot of nudity!

The film stars William Hurt as Ned Racine, a two-bit lawyer in a small Florida town who meets Matty Walker (Kathleen Turner), an unhappy rich married woman. There’s an instant smoldering connection. They’re both horny, wildly attracted to each other, and share the same penchant for talking like a Raymond Chandler novel.

It’s hot (100 degrees at night), they’re hot (one reviewer actually used the word “slender” to describe her back then), and the heat is never turned down.

In short order Ned and Matty are in her mansion getting it on as often and graphic as possible. You are so wrapped up in the steamy sweaty animal sex that you don’t ask the question, “Hey, if she’s so rich and lives in a mansion, how come she can’t afford air conditioning?”

Matty eventually talks Ned into killing her husband (that’s how good the sex was) and the plot takes off. If this sounds a little like DOUBLE INDEMNITY that’s because it’s almost a direct lift. But you never saw Fred MacMurray giving it to Barbra Stanwyck from behind.

Some notable other performances: Ted Danson as the tap dancing D.A. (this was well before CHEERS) is a riot and Mickey Rourke as an explosives expert (well before he went nuts) is riveting.

The ending gets very confusing and Byzantine so you might want to rewind and replay it a time or two. Just like guys will be rewinding and replaying the first part of the movie twenty times.

BODY HEAT – see it with someone you hope to get lucky with.

Social Network Rejection

First off, get well soon wishes to Earl Pomerantz. He’s having robots operate on him or something. I’m not sure whether the WGA Health Plan doesn’t cover actual surgeons or robots are next big thing, but in any case – have a full and speedy recovery.

Earl, as many of you know, is a fellow comedy writer and blogger. He asked me to remind you that during his medical “hiatus” he is running “Best of” posts. So it’s a good chance to either acquaint yourself with Earl or catch up. You can find his blog here. Tell him Ken sent ya.

One topic that Earl brought up awhile back that I’ve been thinking about as well is “Social Network Rejection”. You must get this too. I’ll check my Twitter page and see two or three people have unsubscribed. And I wonder – hey, what did I do? Did saying something nice about Patty Heaton cause you to leave? Did you think to yourself, “Jesus, if I see one more goddamn post about MASH I’m going to scream”? After a couple of months did you just realize I'm not the Ken Levine who created BIOSHOCK? Did I misspell just too many words for you? What???

I accept the fact that readers come and go, but still – there’s a tiny part of me that wonders, “should I take this personally?”

Do you feel this way too?

Do you see that four friends have dropped you from Facebook and think, “Gee, sorry I’m not interesting enough for you.” Your next reaction is usually “screw you” but you still wonder… did they drop you but keep Heather who tweets every time she coughs up phlegm?

I mean, face it, we all drop other people. If someone wants me to join 72 causes I usually dump them by cause 20. I used to follow a certain baseball beat writer because I like their writing. Then I started getting a hundred updates a day on the Houston Astros. I couldn’t unsubscribe fast enough.

People drop former romantic partners; that I understand. But other people FIND OUT they’re being a dropped by reading Facebook. When your girlfriend’s status goes from “in a relationship” to “single”, well, there’s now 51 Ways to Leave Your Lover.

The point is, there’s usually a reason. Enough of a reason that you’re willing to seek out the unsubscribe icon and click on it. Not saying the people you purge from your life are not lovely but there’s something about them that clearly bugs the shit out of you.

The other, even greater personal rejection, is when you ask to befriend someone – someone you KNOW, someone who IS a friend in real life – and they ignore or reject you. You’re not asking them to donate a kidney, you’re asking to add your little picture icon to their friends page. This can be particularly painful when members of your immediate family dump your sorry ass.

Or maybe I’m just being too sensitive. I’d start a Facebook Group – “Coping with Social Network Rejection” but what if no one signs up?

Charlize Theron Kisses Woman For $140,000

I can’t get enough of these HuffPost Headlines for the important stories YOU need to follow. Just from today…

Charlize Theron Kisses Woman For $140,000

Billy Mays' Son Sponsoring Contest For Halloween Costumes Of His Dead Dad

Edward Norton's Maasai Marathon, Twitter & Vaselined Nipples

Diddy's Brazilian Vacation: 'Ass! Ass! Ass!'

Faizon Love: No Sock In 'Couples Retreat' Nude Scene

David Cross: I Snorted Cocaine 40 Feet From Obama

A free society depends upon the populace remaining informed.

My trip to Philadelphia

For you new readers, whenever I'm allowed out of the 310 area code I write up a travelogue of my trip. This saves you from having to actually go anywhere yourself. Here's the latest.
If it weren’t for the Dodgers being swept by the Phillies, my sojourn to Philadelphia to cover them would have been sublime. But that “losing the pennant thing” really puts a crimp in your trip.

Philadelphia is the home of Rocky Balboa, Dick Clark, Gogi Grant, Danny Bonaduce (actor, alcoholic), Broderick Crawford (actor, alcoholic), Eddie Fisher (singer, homewrecker), World B. Free, Lola Falana, Betsy Ross, Suzy Kobler, George Jefferson, John Coltrane, Michael Douglas (the former talk show host, not father of the felon), Pink, Teller, Fabian, Chaka Fattah, Chubby Checker (who absurdly believes there should be a statue of himself at the Rock n’ Roll Hall-of-Fame), Mohini Bhardwaj (no description necessary), funnymen Larry Fine, W.C. Fields, and Richard Gere, two of the most admired women in the world – Grace Kelly and Tina Fey, G Love and Special Sauce, and of course Henry “Box” Brown, an abolitionist who escaped slavery by literally mailing himself to Philadelphia from Richmond, Virginia. (Book rate yet!)

Philadelphia is also one of Hollywood’s favorite locations. It’s been the setting for MANNEQUIN and the TONY RANDALL SHOW. THE PHILADELPHIA STORY however, was filmed in Hollywood.

The Eagles are still the number one sports team in this town. And that’s with Michael Vick (who shouldn’t be in the NFL. He should be locked in a room with 15 hungry pit bulls and a pork chop tied around his neck.). On Sunday night the Fightin’ Phils won 11-0 (and the game wasn’t as close as that score would indicate) and most of the coverage in the next day’s sports section was “what’s wrong with the Eagles?” The Phils are the Norman Maine of Philadelphia.

Meant to get out to the Mutter Museum, founded originally to educate doctors of the 19th Century and HMO’s. Big attractions include conjoined twins and a catalog of foreign objects removed from bodies.

The first few nights a Nor’easter blew through town and it was colder than Faye Dunaway’s sweater meat. But then the sun came out and temps rose from 30 to 70. It’s not always sunny in Philadelphia but when it is it’s glorious!

I love that the area has regional delicacies – hoagies, soft pretzels, Goldenberg’s peanut chews, Tastykakes, and the most famous of all: Philly Cheese Steaks -- thinly sliced slippery gristle and melted cheese whiz on a long roll and somehow it tastes great. But only in Philadelphia. Everywhere else it’s a grease trap on a bun. There is much debate over who serves the best cheese steak but many locals agree it’s Jim’s.

And then there’s Scrapple. This is a mush of all the pork parts not used elsewhere. And considering what they use in hot dogs that pretty much leaves the sphincter, doesn’t it? Contestants on FEAR FACTOR won’t even eat that crap.

See the Liberty Bell. Yes, it’s a real touristy thing to do but it’s worth it.

City statues pay tribute to the three most honored figures in Philadelphia’s rich history -- Benjamin Franklin, Mike Schmidt, and Sylvester Stallone.

This is the birthplace of two major revolutions – the American and shopping. It is in nearby Westchester that QVC is located, which is why I thought I saw Marie Osmond at baggage claim waiting at the carousel for 42,000 dolls to come down the chute.

Walked by the Eddie Haskell Hair Studio. Didn’t you always wonder whatever happened to that little shit? “I think those highlights look very becoming on you, Mrs. Cleaver. Please give my best to young Theodore when you see him, will you?

Citizens Bank Park, the new home of the Phillies, is a terrific venue, a vast improvement over Veteran’s Stadium, which was the world’s largest spittoon. Beyond centerfield is the skyline of the city. And in a refreshing change from all the other new-designed-to-look-like-old parks, there are actually portions that aren’t luxury boxes. It’s very fan friendly even though the fans are anything but friendly. Philadelphia fans are tough. Their idea of rally towels is torches and pitchforks. But they’re passionate, knowledgeable, and extra intimidating in frigid weather all bundled up in red jackets and hoods. Imagine a Unibomber convention.

And the Phillie Phanatic is the mascot’s mascot. He’s the Chaplin of big furry blobs.

The Phils also have two terrific announcers – Scott Franzke and Tom McCarthy. But I miss Harry Kalas. Not as much as the fan though who showed up at one of the games sporting a Mohawk with the initials “HK” cut into one side. Although he could’ve just been honoring Harvey Korman.

For some reason taxis and even buses have the right-of-way over ambulances in the inner City of Brotherly Love.

The Phillies had a great slogan last year: “Why Can’t Us?”

People say LA is weird but in Sunday night’s game the Fightins’ former catcher Darren Daulton threw out the first pitch. He currently talks to lizards, preaches unconventional theories regarding human existence, and time travels. Even Lauren from THE HILLS doesn’t do that.

In anticipation of the Phillies clinching the pennant the Philadelphia Municipal Authority greased every pole near the stadium so that rambunctious revilers couldn’t climb them. Streetlights, bus signs, even trees were coated with a slippery yellow goo. After how many beers do you ask the question: “Hey, how would a squirrel celebrate?”

The charter flight home was long and somber. Arrived back in L.A. at dawn. Yes, it would have nice to have 20,000 appreciative fans there to greet us but we were more than thrilled just to see the shuttle vans.

Thanks to the Dodgers for a fabulous year. Their season was like NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN. Great movie but the ending sucked. Yet it was still worthy of the Oscar.

Hopefully next year they’ll be greasing the trees around Dodger Stadium.

Tons of Scale Car Models!

Recently I found a very good website that was given by a good friend of mine. Thanks to him, it help me cut to the trouble of searching most of the scale models that I had been searching for quite a while. Here are the loots !

We have McLaren, Porsche Caymen, Boxsters, 911 and Evolution 6

These are 1:43 scale car models

These are 1:87 scale car models

PARADE

Guest blogger today. My daughter Annie files her review of the hit musical PARADE, now playing at the Mark Taper Forum in LA. It's won numerous Tonys but none of that matters until you've been accepted by the Los Angeles theater crowd. So how did it stack up? Here's Annie's report.
Parade is a musical about the Leo Frank case, which took place in Atlanta in 1913. A young girl named Mary Phagen who worked at a pencil factory was murdered, and Leo Frank, who ran the factory, became the number one suspect primarily because he was Jewish and from Brooklyn. It already sounds like a toe-tapping good time, doesn’t it? Luckily, while it might not be a feel good musical, it is a beautifully written one. Alfred Uhry’s book and Jason Robert Brown’s music and lyrics make the show captivating, touching and thought-provoking. Plus it probably isn’t nearly as depressing as Carrie Fisher’s one-woman show.

This production of Parade began in London's Donmar Warehouse where it had been reworked for a smaller cast and a smaller venue. As a result, there was a lot more double casting than there was in the original production. I found it really confusing. There was only one man playing all of the African-American male parts. My heart goes out to the casting director. She could only find one African-American man in Los Angeles who was able to sing, dance and act? I guess it’s a miracle that she was able to find the one. Also, the guy who played both the lead reporter and the governor of Georgia looked a lot like John Hamm, which begged the question “Jesus, how many secret identities does Don Draper have?!”

I was surprised/concerned at how many children I saw in the audience. I have a little suggestion for parents: please read the synopsis of the musical, not just the title, before taking your 7 year old. Parade isn’t about the balloons at Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Ragtime isn’t a re-usical of Scott Joplin hits, and Les Miserables should be obvious (and yet there are always children there)! But I digress.

I had heard very mixed things about T.R. Knight’s performance as Leo Frank, but I thought he did a very nice job. His acting was excellent, and though I don’t expect him to be doing any duets with Andrea Boccelli soon, his singing was quite good as well. I do feel bad for the guy though. First he gets attacked by Isaiah Washington for being gay, and now the entire South is against him for being Jewish. He can’t win, can he?

Lara Pulver, who played Lucile Frank (Leo’s Wife) and Tony winner Christian Hoff, who played prosecuting attorney, Hugh Dorsey were both wonderful. The role of Hugh Dorsey calls for a very large performance, and Hoff was definitely up to the challenge. He chewed up every inch of scenery --I don’t think there was a single Confederate flag left without teeth marks on it.

I was lucky enough to see this performance from the front row, which at the Taper Forum is basically sitting on the stage. I was very excited about this, until I started getting spit on. I don't mean a little--I mean I was wringing out my shirt by the end. I guess I can't complain that they enunciated poorly.

All and all, it was a very successful production, and one I highly recommend.
--Annie

There you have it. A success! Ends November 15th. Thanks, Annie.

My season in the sun (photo album)

My baseball season is over. But it's been a great ride. Here are a few snapshots of my year with the Dodgers.

Opening Day in San Diego. The Padres were undefeated when this picture was taken.
He's the best manager I've ever worked with. Joe Torre... who reminds you all to try Bigelow Green Tea.

The Milwaukee Hot Dog racers in a rare relaxed moment.
My work station in the press box. Unlike the stands, very few fights.
If I'm not in the booth I'm here waiting to grab a player for a postgame interview. Only the ones who don't speak English agree to go on with me.
The great Jerry Coleman, Hall of Fame broadcaster and my partner when I was with the Padres. He's in his 80s and he could still kick my ass.
The day of the big Station Fire in Los Angeles. It looks like we've been attacked, doesn't it?
Traveling with the team I got my first glimpse of the Mets' new home -- CitiField. Shea Stadium was demolished but they played there three more years anyway.
Just some of the respected journalists who cover Dodger games.
The KABC studio where I broadcast. As you can see, I'm all about baseball.
Coors Field in Denver. One of my favorite parks.
Two of my heroes -- Hall of Fame broadcasters Marty Brenneman of the Reds and Vin Scully of the Dodgers.
The Great American Ballpark in Cincinnati. Doesn't that cloud formation look like smoke coming out of those smokestacks?
The Dodgers won the division. I got to be right in the middle of it. Some were so delirious with joy they even hugged me.
On to the playoffs and St. Louis. What a surprise! There's a Budweiser sign.
Me and Chip Caray. We were partners in Seattle and I don't care what anyone says. He's a great guy and knows how to call a good game.
Here's how it ended for us. Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia. The Phillies have just won the pennant. You'll notice when the other team wins my vantage point is just a tad farther back than when the Dodgers win.
Good luck to the Phillies and whoever they play. I was hoping for a ring but I guess they don't give NLCS Championship Series consolation rings.

During the offseason my partner Josh Suchon and I will be on 790 KABC (and on-line on KABC.COM) every Sunday from 5-8 to talk sports... okay, mostly baseball but we will mention the Superbowl.

Nothing beats a good story

My thoughts on Soupy Sales

You have to take my word for it. Soupy Sales was a brilliant physical comedian.

Those of us of a certain age (middle… not old yet. Don’t rush us.) remember Soupy Sales fondly and are very saddened by his passing. The vast majority of you I suspect don’t even know who he is.

And it’s not like I can just point you to some movies. Soupy’s milieu was live television. And worse, live local television most of the time. So not a lot of his work exists and even the snippets that do don’t really tell the story. You just have to trust me on this one.

Soupy’s brilliance was that he created this whole comic world. And to be fully appreciated you had to watch everyday. Offstage noises, wise ass puppets popping up in the window, eight foot dogs, sound effects, girlfriends with hairy arms, old film clips, lip syncing songs, classic comedian monologues, zany props, a barrage of corny jokes, slapstick sight gags, and plenty of pies in the face – that was the world of Soupy Sales, coming at you in rapid succession from every which angle. It was so unrehearsed and spontaneous that half the time he didn’t even know what the hell was happening. You could hear the crew offstage laughing, you knew that the set and entire budget was so cheesy the biggest expense was probably all the shaving cream used to make the pies.

But that was part of its charm. Again, trust me. It was wonderful. And hilarious. Most of the time Soupy was just the straight man, unselfishly letting the hairy arm or hand puppet get the big laughs.

And at this point I need to stop a moment and salute the man whose arm and offstage voices were the key to this inspired lunacy. Clyde Adler, a former stagehand, was a master of comic timing. Together he, Soupy, White Fang, Black Tooth, Pookie, Hippy, and Peaches made magic.

For a brief moment Soupy was the rage. ABC even went national and prime time with him briefly. Celebrities like Frank Sinatra no less, would come on and get hit in the face with pies (although in Frank’s case I’m sure he had the thrower killed).

Soupy went on to a successful career in radio, appearing as a celebrity panelist on game shows (where he showed off his Wake Forest education and proved to be quite smart and well read), and performing live shows.

But it was those early afternoon shows on KABC Channel 7 I will remember and revere.

I’m right about this one. You just gotta believe.

Stay Awesome, "Glee"

I love "Glee" so much that I'm already worried about the moment, perhaps inevitable, when it starts to make me crazy. I saw it happen to my friends who got sucked in to "Lost" and "Heroes," and the depth of their disappointment when those shows went off the rails ... well, it was troubling.

So far, the musical bits have been fabulous and the casting is spot on. I don't know how much Fox is paying Jane Lynch to portray cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester, but it's probably not enough. The woman is a master of the withering one-liner ("I’ve always thought the desire to procreate showed deep, personal weakness."), and her character is terrifying. Then there is Kurt, glorious Kurt, who cracks me up with the mere arch of an eyebrow. I thought the episode where he came out to his flannel-wearing dad was expertly handled. After Kurt stammered that he was gay, his dad shrugged and said, "I know." That he wasn't thrilled about it but still openly loved his kid seemed realistic — and it was touching.

In fact, that particular episode illustrated what makes "Glee" work so well: its successful combination of absurdity (the football team dancing to "Single Ladies") and poignancy (quarterback Finn's terror of being stuck in his hometown forever because of his girlfriend's pregnancy). And don't even get me started on how effing fabulous Kristin Chenowith was a few weeks ago as a drunken, former glee club star. The show's high goofball factor helps it get away with stereotypes that would otherwise be annoying.

But I'm not completely blinded by devotion. No show is perfect, but sometimes I worry that the things I don't like about "Glee" will start to overwhelm the rest. Like the constant focus on Rachel and Finn's mutual infatuation. I really like Rachel's character, particularly her awareness that her ruthless ambition alienates people. Finn's hunky/dim schtick is adorable. But what initially hooked me was the motley crew of glee club members, and the assumption that they'd all get a chance to shine. I want to know more about Tina, the Asian girl who auditioned with a ridiculously aggressive rendition of "I Kissed a Girl." But she's barely spoken since the pilot. Will Mercedes, the club's budding Aretha, be given more to do than make sassy remarks about her friends' shenanigans? I love the fact that Artie's wheelchair is regularly worked into song-and-dance routines. And the boy is funny. What's his story?

I realize the show hasn't been on that long, and maybe the "Glee" writers are getting to all that. For all I know, Artie and Tina may become an item. But I've been watching television too long to expect the unexpected, even from a really good show. Now that the show has caught on and grabbed the attention of people like Madonna, I fear a parade of Rihanna-esque cameos and repetition of themes that are already starting to wear out their welcome.

Here's hoping I'm wrong. For now, I'm unavailable Wednesday nights from 9 to 10.