I've been saving the best for last!

Okay people. You've been enjoying this fine entertainment all day but have you picked up that computer and clicked on my Twitter link? No! What the fuck!! Do you think is easy? Do you think I like posting some new piece of shit entertainment every two hours? I haven't slept in three days!! What am I asking for here people? One click? One simple fucking goddman click? Are the people you are following so much more fucking interesting than me? "Saw INCEPTION". Pretty cool." Wow!! That guy is sure worth following. My tweets couldn't nearly be as entertaining as that!

We're winding down. I have no tote board but trust me, I'm hopelessly behind. I had been saving the best for last. More as a way of thanking you folks. But now I don't know. I don't know if you deserve him.

Oh well, he's here. And Jesus, if this guy doesn't knock your socks off then I don't know what the fuck to do. So I'm going to let him come out. But again. I better see you joining my Twitter community.

Alright. Christ I'm pissed! Sorry, wait, let me settle down a moment. Okay. I'm better.

Ladies and gentleman, I'll just say two words. SINATRA!!! JUNIOR!!!!

Ren & Stimpy

Happy Happy Joy Joy! This is one of my favorite cartoon in the 90s. I was in my early teen when I first watched this crazy insane cartoons. I believe it still showing in Cartoon Network or some other channel in Astro. Anyway this is Medicom Kubrick (again!).

Here are some details from Wikipedia

Ren is an asthma hound chihuahua. He is "scrawny," "dyspeptic", and "violently psychotic", whereas Stimpy is a three year old, fat, untailed, red and white Manx cat with a blue nose, purple eyelids, human-style buttocks, and flat feet.



I think this costume is from one of their episode with the said title


Ren on the left and Stimpy on the right

How do I keep coming up with such stupendous entertainment?

My Twitter telethon continues. Hoping to get another 5,000 followers... this hour. Or at least gaining more people than I lose. Come on people. It's for a great cause -- me maybe getting something out of it. Just go here.

In the meantime, the AMAZING entertainment continues!!!! Oh, will you laugh!! Here she is, funny lady extraordinaire!!! The high priestess of hilarity, Jessica Glassberg.

My Twitter telethon presents another spectacular act

It's hard to believe there can be so much sizzling entertainment on one blog but all these incredible performers have come together for this oh-so worthy cause -- me gaining more Twitter followers. I especially thank the ones who are no longer alive (performers, not new followers).

Like this incredible late entertainer. Give it up ladies and gentleman to the incomparable SENOR WENCES!!

You gotta have a plate spinner!!

Maybe this will finally entice people to follow me on Twitter. That's what this is all about. That's why all these great entertainers have lent their time and talent. I need more Twitter followers so I can maybe get a goddamn book deal. The staple of any telethon is the plate spinner. Ah, but this guy is not just ANY plate spinner. As astounding as it may seem, he can also build a small table! Right there on stage!! You've got to see it to believe it!

The spectacular entertainment continues

Unfortunately, Ed McMahon is not around so there's no reason to have a tote board. But we're falling behind people. I've had actually more people drop out. This is the first telethon that lost money. Is that even possible?

I'm trying to get enough new Twitter followers to at least be as popular as the guy who tweets knock-knock jokes.

And while you're signing up, enjoy our fine entertainment. You'll want to sing along with this one. The actual Eurovision winner in 1969, here's Lulu singing the haunting "Boom Bang-a-Bang".

More stars than are in the heavens!!

Okay, I'm sure these telethons take awhile to really get going and I should not be discouraged that I've only added three new Twitter followers. But the dazzling entertainment continues. As blog reader Mark correctly proclaimed, there is no telethon without Joey Heatherton!! So here she is fellas, singing her greatest hit and using her greatest prop! You can sign up here.

My telethon begins!!!

So I hear if you have a gazillion followers on Twitter you can get a book deal. And since I'm writing a book, I thought "hey, what can I do to attract new followers?" The answer is a simple. The blog equivalent to a Jerry Lewis telethon. So throughout the day I'll be chiming in with shameless pleas, pathetic begging, and browbeating. But I'll also be providing you with the kind of spectacular entertainment you can only find on a telethon.

So click on the Twitter icon or just click right here, tell all your friends. Let's get me a book deal while I'm still young enough to know what that is.

Thanks. You're all beautiful human beings.

So let's get things started with a bang. Here he is! Mr. Dynamite. TONY ORLANDO AND DAWN!!

Some things you wanted to know about CHEERS

A theme for today’s Friday questions: CHEERS.

Steve asks a multi-parter:

Many, many shows struggle with the issue of how to keep sexual tension between the leads without alienating fans annoyed with the "when will they do it?"question, or what to do once they finally do it.

All these years later, what's your take on how Cheers handled the Sam & Diane relationship? What do you think would or should have happened if Shelley Long stayed on the show? And what did you think of the Sam and Rebecca relationship? Finally, any general thoughts about how to handle this difficult but common issue?

I think it’s much harder to sustain sexual chemistry now because couples in real life hook up much sooner. It just isn’t real for a TV couple to be playing cat and mouse with each other for two full seasons, or even one. They start to act like grown ups still in Junior High.

I don’t know how the Sam & Diane relationship would have evolved had Shelley remained on the show. I sort of felt we were treading water her last two seasons.

Sam and Rebecca were never meant to have sexual chemistry. But the actual relationship between them kept changing as Rebecca’s character kept changing. At first she was a real martinet. But that didn’t work. Once she became an emotional disaster area then she was comic gold.

One season our arc was that Sam was going to try to get into her pants. For the entire year he resorted to one unconscionable ploy after another.

NBC tested the show that season and Sam tested the highest. Why? Because the audience found him sympathetic, with high morals, and very protective of everyone at the bar. Huh??? What fucking show were THEY watching? Sam did everything but slip her a roofie.

In Splat’s own words:

I have some rather anal questions about the "Cheers is filmed before a live studio audience" announcement.

a) What prompted it?
b) Was there some rule about which actor would introduce each episode?

We were getting complaints from viewers who thought we were leaning on the laugh track too hard. They didn’t believe that the laughs were real (which they were). So the decision was made to tell the viewers that the show was filmed in front of a live studio audience. Of course the complaints continued. People still didn’t believe that the laughs were genuine (which they were).

There was no rule as to which actor voiced it from week to week. They all recorded the disclaimer and the post production guys just rotated them I guess.

Anonymous (please leave a name) wonders…

… if any of the other Cheers writers have blogs/websites or plan on getting them in the future.

Earl Pomerantz has a fabulous blog. Tom Leopold has a website. Rob Long does a weekly commentary on KCRW that is a must. Sam Simon is on Twitter. @simonsam. You might want to follow him. A number of CHEERS scribes have Facebook pages but they’d have to confirm you as a friend. And I’m trying to get my partner to start his own religious cult.

Been falling a little behind on the questions. Will try to sprinkle in a few more question days throughout the next few weeks. So keep ‘em coming. As always, THANKS!

Now tomorrow I'm experimenting. Join me for my blog telethon. It's for a GREAT cause and I've lined up some unbelievable talent. That's tomorrow. Many posts. All day. I better get some sleep now.

Transformers MasterPiece Starscream Ghost Ver.

Its has been a while I post about Transformers. This is MP03G MasterPiece Starscream Ghost Ver from TakaraTomy. I received this last week with July Shipment from CH-Toynation. These are ultimate collectors item from Japan! There is a similar version from HongKong but this one comes with a Transformer Comic book that is available only in Japan version!

Decepticon Starscream in Ghost skin!



This item is so cool when I opened it. Really jaw dropping details and colors. The whole robot is fully made of plastic.



Here is the comic book that comes with it....


Will probably transform it to robot mod when I display it in the future!

Steve McPherson out at ABC -- what it means...to me

With the announcement Tuesday that Steve McPherson would be stepping down as head of the ABC Entertainment Group I got a few emails from friends asking how this would affect me? To answer, I’d have to go back through my history with ABC.

The last time David and I sold a pilot to the alphabet network it was 1981. We’ve done two pilots for ABC. Neither was shot. One was a family comedy. They were also developing a family comedy that year for Erma Bombeck. We were told they were greenlighting hers, not ours because they had a deal with her. “But if it’s any consolation,” they said, “Yours was much better.” Yeah, GREAT consolation.

We also rewrote a pilot for ABC that did get made but we didn’t get screen credit. And the pilot was never picked up. That was in 1979.

Interestingly, throughout our very lengthy (and lucky) career we’ve done very little for ABC. Our first staff job was on THE TONY RANDALL SHOW for ABC but we left to go to MASH, we’ve written episodes for a few short-lived series, and I’ve directed a number of shows for ABC including DHARMA & GREG. It’s just that the long running series we were involved with seemed to be on every network but ABC.

And yet, you’d think in almost thirty years we could have sold one goddamn pilot there. We used to joke that we couldn’t sell the Super Bowl to ABC.

In fairness, ABC has always been lovely. We certainly can’t blame one or two individuals and say it was anything personal. We must’ve pitched to 200 different regimes. Two of the buildings that we pitched in have now been torn down. Some of the executives we pitched to are dead, or worse -- out of the business.

But ABC has always been receptive to us bringing in ideas. The meetings are always respectful and I always get the impression they will buy an idea if they like it. But it’s us. We just never bring them anything they seem to like. I’d say at least 50% of the pilots we sold elsewhere were originally passed on by ABC. We started going there first because we felt it was like a practice pitch. They’d never buy of course (we could pitch DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES) but at least we got to give our presentation a test spin.

Here’s how not-in-the-cards it was for us. When ALMOST PERFECT premiered we got a extremely nice call from the then-head of ABC saying how much he loved the show and wondered why we didn’t bring it to them. I told him we did plan to go to ABC first but they called the day before and wanted to postpone the meeting for three weeks. So we took it to CBS the next day and sold it in the room. It just wasn’t meant to be.

Meanwhile, we helped out on other peoples’ ABC pilots. Quite a few of those. Although, come to think of it, very few of those ever got picked up. I’m telling you, it’s US.

But that’s just for writing, directing, and producing. In terms of ACTING, ABC is our home. David and I have had cameos in two episodes of shows we wrote – OPEN ALL NIGHT and THE MARSHALL CHRONICLES and both of those series were on ABC. We can’t sell a show but we are the face of the network. That’s more consolation than the Erma Bombeck incident.

Anyway, back to the original question – will Steve McPherson’s exit have much of an effect on me, I say no. Paul Lee has been named to succeed him, not my dad. And even if my dad were named President of the ABC Group, he’d still say he liked our idea but already bought something similar from my brother.

That said, I'm sure Paul will do a great job. My best to him and everyone at ABC.

Me & the Hells Angels

Here’s another chapter in my early checkered radio career. The first installment is here.

1971 and I’m doing weeekends at KERN in Bakersfield. I was five at the time. (All TV writers older than twenty who hope to work lie about their age.) As mentioned before, the station was this shack out in the middle of nowhere. And since Bakersfield itself is in the middle of nowhere, the station is really REALLY in the middle of nowhere.

It was my second week. I was holding down the coveted Saturday 6-midnight shift. At about 10:00 the doorbell rings. Who would be coming to call at this hour? Maybe the Jehovah's Witnesses work late in this town. I put a record on and like an idiot went to the front lobby and opened the door.

There was a full gang of Hell Angels – probably thirty of the scariest leather clad, chain wielding, tattoo sporting (before it was fashionable), chopper riding, engine revving, ass kicking (and in my mind, Jew hating) dudes you’ve ever seen. And their girlfriends who could beat the shit out of me.

So I’m Jello in a windstorm. Picture Ralph Kramden as the “Chef of the Future”. “Hummina hummina hummina” The leader (at least I thought he was the leader. I didn’t ask for ID.), growls, “You the fucking guy on the radio?”

“Hummina hummina”.

“What?”

“HUMMINA hummina hummina.”

I’m thinking, “What offensive thing did I say that is going to get me killed?” And “This will be a good indication of how many people are actually listening to KERN. Let’s see how long it takes for someone to discover my body."

Mr. Leader of the Pack says, “Do you have Sweet Cream Ladies?” (A late 60s moderate hit by the Box Tops)

A request? That’s why they’re there? To make a song request?

Somewhat relieved I mumble “Sure.”

He signals to the others and they roar off to terrorize someone else. I lock the door, check my underwear, and go to the record library PRAYING that it's in there.

There is a God! They had it.

I run back to the studio and cue it up. It’s my next record. I completely break format but who gives a shit! I could be dead by the time the format says to play an oldie.

A half hour later the doorbell rings again. What to do? They know I’m in there. And they all smoke so they all have matches. Any one of them could set the building on fire. I could just see them dismantling the tower and welding it into more bikes.

I reluctantly open the door. There they are again. The leader hands me a beer and says, “Thanks, man.” They drive off.

Usually I don’t drink beer while on the air but not that night. Anything to settle my jangled nerves.

The next week, same thing. At about 10:00 they're at the front door to request Sweet Cream Ladies. A half hour later they return with a beer as thanks for playing it.

The following week I just play the song at 10:00 and at 10:30 receive my reward.

Thus began a ritual that lasted almost a year. And it really proved to be a Godsend on Halloween.

Houses get T.P.ed, and cars get egged and vandalized on Halloween in Bakersfield. It’s a proud tradition. And my car is alone in a lot next to the shack in a dark empty field. I figured I’d get off of work and there would be nothing left but a drive shaft and maybe one hub cap. Instead, the car was completely untouched. Guess word got around that I was BFF with the local Hells Angels.

Sorry to say me and the gang haven’t stayed in touch. Especially during network note meetings.

Tomica Nissan 370Z

Just acquired this new released Tomica Nissan 370z. Did some background with Majorette Car Showroom that I bought recently.

Scenes from Comic Con

Comic-Con, the destination for everyone who ever got beaten up in high school. Or Day Care. One of my spies took these pictures this weekend. Thought you might enjoy this glimpse into the Apocalypse.
"Yes, I feel I'm very qualified to run for the senate. I was an intern for Barbara Boxer, I vaporized North Korea, and unlike my opponent, I can relate to the common man."
Fuel Pump Man is back and is pissed!
This is how the Jewish Orthodox will dress in the future.
Imagine coming to the convention dressed in this sad costume?
This is what happens when sports team mascots go bad.
"Up against the wall, maternal anthropoid biped fornicator!"
"Oh, Superman, thank God you're here! For the life of me I don't know how get Final Draft to open."
Lady Gaga's parents stopped by to say hello.
"What do you mean, what part did I play in LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS?"
Trash Can Man and the Jaundiced Lantern meet to compare notes.
Behold the greatest pizza delivery man in the galaxy!
As always future scribes, you're welcome to suggest your own captions.

Faces :)

Hey its me, I have been finding a LOT of faces on the Internet. Here are all the ones I know:

:)

:(

:]

:[

:}


:{


:/

'' (just eyes but mysterious looking)

*)

*(

^^ (amused look)


<)

XD (big laugh)


XXXXXXXXXXD(HUGE laugh



XDDDDDDDDDD(same as the one as obove just a little different)

XXXXXXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDDDD(you pretty much died laughing!)

:o

:O

:0

8)

'-'

' _ ' (same as above just bigger)



0 0 (BIG face)
__


thanks for looking at my faces,

Garrett



Garrett

I hate Betty Draper!

I didn’t used to.

She was one of my favorite MAD MEN characters season one. I loved that she shot the neighbors pigeons, and how ingeniously she got back at Don for being in cahoots with her therapist. (I’d say what that was but I’d get a hundred spoiler alert complaints even though it was three seasons ago. Netflix the DVD’s people!)

I also felt sorry for her. She was this trapped 60s housewife dependent on a man who cheated on her constantly. Bohemian women, her kids’ teacher, even a Jew! Yes, she flirted with a nine-year-old creepy neighbor boy but that’s still not sleeping with a Red Sea Pedestrian. Her father had dementia and she had to constantly look at really bad wallpaper in the breakfast nook – so the woman did have heavy crosses to bear.

But starting last season when she took Don back (“She took Don back? Damn! Why don’t you have spoiler alerts?!”) she has morphed into an insufferable frigid bitch. It's hard to get it up when you're afraid it's going to break off.

At first I tried. Every character in MAD MEN is deliciously complex. There are flaws, ugly traits, and weaknesses in all of them. Sometimes the big surprise is when you learn they have good qualities.

But Betty has gone from classic tragic figure to Ann Coulter. Now granted my feelings have been colored by the actress herself who plays Betty Draper. When January Jones allegedly slammed into three parked cars last June and fled the scene, saying, "I can't deal with this commotion" that took away some of her girlish charm for me.

And maybe series creator Matt Weiner wants me to now hate her. If so, he’s done a great job because Betty has become Mary Tyler Moore in ORDINARY PEOPLE but without the warmth and whimsy of that character.

You just KNOW that Betty’s kids – especially Sally – are going to hate her forever. They will both be in therapy for the rest of their natural Lexapro guzzling lives. What does it say about how fucked up a family is when Don Draper (who’s assuming the identity of a dead man) is the most well adjusted? Sally is destined for every eating disorder possible.

Side trip: Pat McCormick, one of the funniest and sickest human beings of all time once told this joke: “Just got back from the Bulimic’s Convention. The highlight was when the cake came out of the girl.” But I digress…

Now Betty’s making someone else’s life miserable. It’s only a matter of time before he’s in bed with a shana meydele.

And all that’s fine except… I don’t want to see it. Whenever the show goes away from Don or the agency to a Betty scene I zone out. Sorry but I’d rather watch the preview for the new RUBICON series or even the BMW commercial than follow the Wicked Witch of Westchester County. I don’t care anymore. I don’t care that she’s unhappy. I don’t care that she’s unfulfilled. I just want her to wake up one morning, look in the mirror and there is Bette Davis from HUSH HUSH SWEET CHARLOTTE staring back at her.

I will say this though, she does serve a function. With Betty Draper around you now KNOW why the men are mad.

Let's see more of Don or Roger or Pete or Peggy or Joan or Trudy. Hell, Trudy can bring along some of her friends from COMMUNITY, I don't care. Anyone but Betty!

Jon Miller

The Hall-of-Fame just got funnier. My former partner in Baltimore, Jon Miller gets inducted into Cooperstown today. Jon is currently the voice of the San Francisco Giants and ESPN Sunday Night Baseball. Yes, Vin Scully is the ultimate baseball broadcaster but Jon Miller is the best of anyone under 82.

And the funniest.

Not that there’s a whole lot of competition in that category. Especially today. Baseball announcers used to have distinct personalities, regional accents, wry wits. Today they’ve largely been replaced by polished generic professionals who all sound alike and bombard you with statistics. Now you’d hear, “Two outs, bottom of the ninth, here’s Eugnio Velez. He’s been struggling, batting .197 with an on base percentage of .384 and with men in scoring position hitting only .178.” Harry Caray would’ve just said, “Here’s Eugenio Velez. Stay tuned for the post game show coming right up.”

Baseball announcing is a lost art. Very few today are master storytellers. Very few really bring the game “alive”.

Thank God for Jon Miller.

Blessed with a gorgeous baritone voice (I sounded like Minnie Mouse compared to him, the bastard), Jon is a throwback to the days when announcers not steroids made ballplayers seem larger-than-life.

I was privileged to share the booth with him in the early 90s in Baltimore. Every night I marveled at his preparation, knowledge of the game, descriptions worthy of John Updike, passion, and more than anything else – ability to entertain.

Like I said, Jon is funny. There were nights we’d be riffing on the air and I’d have trouble keeping up with him. (Don’t you hate it when someone just in passing does something as good as you when you’ve been doing it for twenty years?) I’m convinced, if Jon had gone into television writing instead of baseball he’d be in Comedy Writers Hall-of-Fame (if there were such a thing. And if there were, I guarantee you it wouldn’t be in Cleveland.)

We did lots of zany stuff together on the air. We imitated Wolf Blitzer giving rain delay updates, tried out ridiculous home run calls, a discussion of hockey prompted us to roll our chairs and body check each other while calling the play-by-play.

But my personal favorite bit is this. And it was all Jon’s brainchild. I left Baltimore for the Seattle Mariners. Our first trip into Baltimore Jon asked, for old time’s sake if I could come over and do an inning with him? I said sure. But here’s the thing: he would introduce me as if I were still calling Orioles games. No fanfare, no “nice to have you back”, nothing.

So we come out of the commercial break, Jon says, “Now as we go to the 3rd, here’s Ken”. I say, “Thanks Jon, 3-1 O’s and leading off for Seattle is… “ During the inning we discussed past Orioles games that season as if I had seen them, I did all the commercial drop-ins, and talked about all the giveaways for future homestands that I was looking forward to. After the inning I came back on and said, “Now to the 4th, let’s get back to Jon.” He said, “Thanks, Ken…” and that was that. Apparently the station switchboard was going nuts with confused fans. Was I back? Had I been there all along? Were they just having a horrible dream?

Wish I could be with Jon today in Cooperstown. He now becomes my fourth broadcast partner to enter the Hall (Dave Niehaus, Chuck Thompson, and Jerry Coleman being the other deserving three). “I would rather listen to Jon Miller call a baseball game than see the game myself.” I can’t think of any higher praise than that.

Either that or I’d say, “On to the Hall, here’s Jon.” Knowing Jon, he’d probably like that intro better.

Medicom Mad Hatter & Cheshire Cat

Another Medicom Kubrick & Bearbrick in my collection. These is Mad Hatter & Cheshire Cat from the recent film Alice in Wonderland. One of my favorite film from actor Johnny Depp! Seriously, this item is not cheap consider the size, the package only consists of just two little tiny action figures.

Summer in the "Nutmeg State"

Four years ago this summer I spent July and August in Connecticut. In case you're thinking of vacationing there, here's my travelogue.

Back from five weeks in East Haddam, Ct. and nearby Chester, Ct. where the musical I’ve co-written, THE 60’s PROJECT (pictured above) is in production. My eternal gratitude to Michael Price and the super folks at the Goodspeed Theatre for their hospitality. support, and bug balm. I’ve never worked with a classier, more professional bunch.

If you love Americana (which I do more than just about anything other than money), the “Nutmeg State” is for you. And Sourtheastern Connecticut was particularly beautiful and affectionately goofy.

Stayed at a lovely apartment. Very tastefully furnished. Naked drawings and statues throughout. Even the drinking glasses featured topless women. It’s like I was in my own house.

A local pet store sells reptiles and “critters”. And if you buy a cage they’ll give you two free “long haired dwarf mice.”

Roadside sign spotted: SCENIC ROUTE, NEXT 0.3 MILES.

A fork in the road -- one sign points to Camp Beth El, the other to Christian camps.

There are few Cajun places in the south as good as the New Orleans restaurant in Old Saybrook. Their noontime special is a FAT ASS LUNCH. I qualified.

“Casual” is another name for “fried” when it comes to funky fun seafood restaurants. Lenny & Joe’s is the best.

People could not be nicer.

Keep a can of OFF with you at all times.

If there’s a ten minute thunderstorm anywhere in Connecticut, power and cable goes off for the entire state. Usually for 24-30 hours. The state symbol should be a flashlight.

As green and lush and gorgeous as this place is in the summer I bet the fall is even better. With all the salt in the Connecticut River the red and gold colors of autumn must be extra striking and vivid.

If you go to Killingworth, take a drive down Roast Meat Hill Road. I’m not kidding. There’s really a Roast Meat Hill Road.

The Merchant House on US 154 sells Vera Bradley apparel (e.g. purses) and fireworks. Ideal for milady terrorist.

The local East Haddam liquor store closes at 8. And all day Sunday. Blue laws are still in effect. You don’t see a lot of Yale students here.

My 60’s PROJECT writing partner, Janet, got a manicure where the top coat was hoof veneer. Beware any beauty parlor where their celebrity clientele includes Secretariat.

Take I-84 to New York. The highway is smooth as glass. The second you cross into New York state you hit potholes.

Boy, they love Nathan Hale. One good quote (“I regret that I have but one life to give for my country”) and the guy is a God. Attractions include his house, his school house, his barbershop, the Dairy Queen where he used to make Blizzards.

Connecticut is also the birthplace of Anika Noni Rose who will become a big star after DREAMGIRLS is released.

The Tylerville convenience store sells worms in the freezer section between Ben & Jerry ice cream and tater tots. There’s something terribly wrong when worms are more expensive than long haired dwarf mice.

Towns have colorful names like Moodus and Old Lyme (the actual home of Lyme Disease).

I felt like I was in Twin Peaks. And come to think of it, after the first week, I never saw Laura Palmer. Hmmmm?

At the local Bank of America drive-thru ATM I waited in line behind a motorcycle gang. Guess they needed some extra cash for new chains.

Good morning! The menu at a Middletown diner leads off with “Breakfast Cocktails.” If you go out for pancakes, better have a designated driver.

Do not pass a market without stocking up on bug spray.

Most restaurants close on Monday nights. Every one that is open sells pizza.

Big tourist attraction in East Haddam is the Gillette castle. I can just picture their knights, all using swords with the patented four blades for a smoother, closer kill.

There is not yet a Starbucks in every small town. This might not be true by the time you read this.

Sign in Centerbrook: CALIMARI RECYCLING. From what TO what???

The ambience is very New England. By that I mean a Dunkin’ Donuts on every corner. And their coffee is FAR better than Starbucks.

All you see are people on motorcycles. What you never see are motorcycle helmets. They should rename one of the more treacherous streets Motorcycle Meat Hill Road.

If you bought a house here in 1792 you could sell it today for at least double what you paid for it.

There is better cellphone service in Antarctica than Southeastern Connecticut.

Had lunch at the Griswold Inn in Essex, which claims to be the oldest Inn in America – serving since 1776. There must be a hundred old Inns on the East Coast making that same claim. This one had the very first hand blower in their bathroom. But at the time it was just a guy who blew onto your hands.

If you’re hungry, haven’t eaten in four days and only have one dollar, spend it on mosquito netting.

Larry, Darryl, & Darryl are alive and work at every gas station in the state.

There are wonderful hiking trails. You can see nature at its finest and discover Laura Palmer’s body.

A lot of these small towns look like movie sets. If you like bed & breakfasts, Laura Ashley-like dress shops, tchochkes, and cemeteries this is your heaven.

Some big Indian casinos nearby. For you history buffs, Tony Orlando is appearing frequently.

Based on the number of sightings, I’m beginning to think Connecticut is an Indian word for road kill.

There is a Goodspeed airport in East Haddam. One Cessna, a red shack that says 42B on the roof (no running through long terminals trying to make connections.) and a burned out Quonset hut (the “Admirals Club”). It still takes two hours to get through security. Only airport employee is Grizzly Adams on a tractor demanding $5 landing fees.

In Deep River the ice cream parlor is next door to the tattoo parlor. Perfect for the motorcycle gang that has a sweet tooth.

Only passed through New Haven. Wanted to stop by that venerable jewel of the Ivy League, Yale and tell the students to stop trying to be comedy writers. Go into law or politics for Christsakes! You’re at Yale!

And never got to Hartford. Didn’t want to fight all the tourists stampeding to the Insurance Capital of the World.

But in five lovely weeks I’m sure I saw all the major attractions of the Nutmeg State…except, now that I think about it, nutmeg.

Ruf CTR1 & Ruf CTR2

Remember I received some goodies from Downunder last month? I promised I will do a review and here it is. Those who are into Porsche will know the infamous tuning company from Germany called RUF. They specialised only in tuning Porsche. Here are two of the seven mini RUF car models that I bought online.

RUF CTR1(Yellow) and CTR2(Silver)


RUF CTR1 weight only 1,150 kg. It can sprint from 0-60 mph in 3.7 seconds, 0-100 mph in 7.3 seconds, 0-125 mph in 11.4 seconds and a top speed of 212 mph (341 km/h). Please bear in mind that all the figures was recorded in the late 80s. Sub 3sec supercar is not as common as now at that time.


RUF actually made 29 CTR1, the rest were just conversion from customer own cars.


Launched around 1996, RUF CTR2 was based on Type 993 Generation 911. It weight only 1,380 kg. Sprint from 0-60 mph in 3.8 seconds, 0-100 mph in 7.8 seconds, 0-125 mph in 11.5 seconds and a top speed of 215 mph (346 km/h).


RUF CTR2 cost USD$315,000 when new, at todays exchange rates it cost BND$440,000 in 1996....