What's Gotten Into Condi?

My friend E. just forwarded this super-glam photo of Condoleezza Rice, shown accepting a Glamour magazine Woman of the Year award. After years of wearing helmet hair, Condi looks fresh and youthful with a flattering new haircut.

And then there was her glowing reaction to Barack Obama's victory last week. One pundit pointed out that he had never seen Condi look so happy. Is it just me, or does it seem like she's really ready to be done with her Team W. days?

I'm Just Saying ...

“I want to do a superhero movie and what would be better than Wonder Woman? It would be great. A black Wonder Woman would be a powerful thing. It’s time for that, right?” — Beyonce

Beyonce is a lot of things: gorgeous, talented, richer than God. She's a kinder, gentler Diana Ross for Generation Y.

But she is not a good actress. Every time B. gets a juicy film role (Etta James?) I can't help but wonder if someone with better chops was cheated. It's not like Hollywood is clamoring for the talents of African-American actresses to begin with. If she weren't already so famous, would she even get past the audition stage?

Back to Wonder Woman. On The Unique Geek listserv, we all seem to be in agreement that casting Beyonce is a lame idea. Obviously, she'd look great in the costume. She's certainly logged the gym time. But in order for audiences to get past the "Hey, I thought Wonder Woman was white" thing, any actress of color who tackled the role would have to be amazing. It would piss people off for no good reason, like casting Kate Hudson as Storm. As my friend V. put it: "Wonder Woman is too iconic to portray her so differently."

I know we're supposed to be living in a post-racial era, and this isn't exactly "The Joan of Arc Story" we're dealing with. I just can't get excited about a pop star — any pop star, frankly — taking on one of the best-known characters in the D.C. universe.

For what it's worth, a black Batwoman would be fresh as hell.

Sabrina Teen Witch love scenes

Thanks SO much to everyone for your lovely comments re yesterday’s post. I’m proud to know me. If you haven’t checked in, I’d still love to know where you are, how you got here, what you want to see, what’s your hat size, that sort of thing?

One way people find this blog is by Googling something that appears here. Some of those search items are…uh, interesting. Here are a few from just this week alone. And you sickos know who you are.

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The Alpha Belles

Several days a week, I work out during my lunch break at a downtown church/gym. If I show up at noon, I'm guaranteed to encounter a bunch of women I call the Alpha Belles. The Alpha Belles go to step aerobics, and they speak in loud, exaggerated Southern accents. As in: Ah cayant believe how hawrd that cla-yass wuz today-ee!

(My friend H. also pointed out that they have conversations about things like "purple peas.")

Look, I grew up in South Georgia, so I'm used to accents. At best, a Southern accent can be mellifluous and romantic. At worst, it sounds like something between bleating and braying. The Alpha Belles have the kind of former-mean-girl accents that take me back to my junior high locker room. For some reason, the most popular girls at my school had accents so thick that I occasionally wondered if they were kidding. It was especially unfortunate that Valley speak was all the rage at the time. Gayag me with a spoon!

I suspect that's partly to blame for my barely perceptible accent, which only my Yankee friends can hear. I must have purposely submerged it, the way some people make up a new identity after leaving home. Upon hearing where I grew up, one colleague demanded, "So where's your accent? You sound Midwestern to me."

It's just one of those things about the South that I'm weird about. I can criticize it because it's mine, but I don't want to hear from any Northerners about how we talk funny.

My third anniversary!!

This month marks the third anniversary of this blog. 1205 posts and counting. I read an article recently that said the average number of readers for a blog is 1. So by that yardstick I’m a hit!

This little experiment in free-form writing and raging narcissism has worked out far better than I ever expected. I’ve been asked numerous times “Why do I keep doing it?” and my answer’s always the same –

I’m a writer and a writer writes.

Plus, there have been side benefits. Starting my SITCOM ROOM seminars (the latest takes place this weekend), getting invites to important industry functions (John Edwards for President cocktail party), spreading the word on what the WGA was really after in the recent strike, and being able to share a writing tip or two to help you on your way and (selfishly) giving me something to watch.

I’ve also thoroughly enjoyed the interactive features I’ve done from time to time. I’ll be doing more Komedy Kontests. I just hope I can ever find another grand prize as coveted as an autographed script of AfterMASH.

Best of all has been meeting so many great new people. (Well, in truth the very best thing was receiving that Astroglide coffee mug but making new friends is a close second).

So on anniversaries like this I invite YOU to do the writing. Especially you new readers and lurkers. Please tell me where you’re from, how you found this blog, how long ago, and any feedback you might offer. What do you like? What don’t you like (besides my politics)? The last time I did this enough readers said they came for writing advice that I instituted the Friday Question of the Week. What else would you like to see more of?

All I ask is that you leave your name.

Thanks so much for your support, encouragement, and indulgence.

ON TO YEAR FOUR (something I wish I could have said about even one of the damn the series I created)!!

Cheers.

Ken

Barney Hates The Media, Too

I always had a soft spot for George W. Bush's adorable Scottish terrier, Barney. But like many other Bush loyalists, Barney is pissed off with the media and grumpy about turning his crib over to the Democrats - and a shelter dog! That Reuters reporter never knew what hit him.

Holiday Movie Preview: Part 2

Concluding my two day preview. Amazingly, a few of these are not about Nazis.THE READER – One of the six Kate Winslet movies out this season. This one is about the Holocaust.

REVOLUTIONARY ROAD – After THE READER Kate decided to do something frothy. So she took this trifle about a crumbling doomed marriage. With Leo DeCaprio. What would have happened if he hadn’t drowned in THE TITANIC.

CADILLAC RECORDS -- Story of Chess Records, famous R&B and Blues label of the 50s. Beyonce as Etta James. Younger audiences won’t know who Etta James is. Older audiences won’t know who Beyonce is. Age groups in the middle will be watching QUANTUM OF SOLACE for the third time.

THE WRESTLER – Mickey Rourke is supposed to be amazing in this drama. There goes Will Smith’s Oscar again.

THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON – F. Scott Fitzgerald story about a couple but as she grows older he gets younger. It’s the love affair every “cougar” has longed for.

DEFIANCE – Three Jewish brothers evading Nazis while protecting other Jews. Certainly a Christmas Day alternative.

BEDTIME STORIES – Adam Sandler in a feel-good CGI effects-loaded holiday movie for the whole family! Filled with wonder and magic and that shit.

THE TALE OF DESPEREAUX – CGI mice are the new CGI penguins. Matthew Broderick voices the lead mouse. Written by Gary Ross who scripted SEABISCUIT and was always frustrated that he couldn’t make the horse talk.

NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH – NY Times reporter Judith Miller’s story. If you're saying "Who?" that could be a problem for the film's prospects.

GOOD – Viggo Mortensen struggles with whether to become a Nazi. Gee, I didn’t realize folks back then had a choice.

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL – Remake of that 50s B-movie classic. To recreate the cheesy acting of the period they cast Keanu Reeves in the title role.

FROST/NIXON -- Film version of the play of the television show. Back in the 70s David Frost had a sit-down with former President Richard Nixon. Today’s equivalent would be Nicole Richie interviewing George Bush.

GRAN TORINO – Clint Eastwood continues to direct a movie a month. He has an open slot in March if you want to submit your screenplays. But he also stars in this one so I’ll see you there the first day.

MARLEY & ME – Owen Wilson, Jennifer Aniston, and a cute dog. I’m sure critic Jeffrey Lyons will be wagging his tail at this one.

YES MAN – LIAR LIAR but this time Jim Carrey only says yes instead of lying. But it’s Jim Carrey so it makes no difference really.

LAST CHANCE HARVEY – Dustin Hoffman & Emma Thompson as two lonely souls who fall in love. Date movie for the Motion Picture Country Home.

WALTZ WITH BASHIR – Cartoon about the Lebanon War of the early 80s. I wonder if the weapons were all Acme Rocket Launchers.