Teleseminar feedback

Thanks to everyone who participated in my teleseminar. What did you think? Was it worth the no money? Since I'm a newbie at this teleseminar business any feedback would be helpful -- good or bad. What did you find valuable? Was there any point where you thought to yourself, "Here's five minutes of my life I'll never have back"? Again, thanks. Hope you had as much fun listening as I did pretending I knew what I was talking about.

Miss "I don't know how to view a rough cut lady"

A rough cut is a edited pass at a show or movie. It isn't color corrected, the sound is uneven, effects are sometimes missing, and if there's music at all it's generally just a temporary track. We're required to send rough cuts of our episodes to the network for notes. You'd be shocked at how stupid some of them are. "Aren't you going to have music here?" "The color of her jacket seemed to change. It was really distracting." That sort of nonsense. And these people are SUPPOSED TO KNOW it's a rough cut and that these imperfections will be smoothed out in post production.

Many don't. Yes, you're right. How DO they keep their jobs?

I came across a funny parody of the Budweiser "Real Men of Genius" campaign that salutes "Miss I don't know how to view a rough cut lady".

Why Didn't I Think Of This?

Anyone who has planned a wedding knows that there's a point at which any sense of fun feels far, far away. The details, the managing of expectations and the family wrangling are enough to make a sane person run to the nearest courthouse. And considering the cost, more of us probably should have.

That's why I am so taken with the now-famous video of Jill Peterson and Kevin Heinz's wedding entrance. In case you're one of the 12 people who haven't seen it, the Minnesota couple and bridal party danced their way down the aisle to Chris Brown's "Forever," and the result was pure joy. I've been to a lot of weddings, and a few of them incorporated choreography in a way that was ... unfortunate. However, this couple and their friends were true to the idea that a wedding is (or should be) a celebration.

While most of the feedback has been positive, a few people have griped that the routine was inappropriate for a church. I say poppycock. It's not like they were grinding to Li'l Wayne's "Lollipop." I grew up going to church, so I understand that it is The House of the Lord. But I also think human beings get huffy about things that God couldn't care less about. If that routine is at all indicative of the life these two will have together, I can't imagine the maker being anything but tickled.

Who is my favorite writer?

First off, thanks to all of you for the lovely comments on yesterday’s post. I shall continue to defend Patty Heaton even at the risk of Anonymous calling me names.

Also, today’s the last day you can sign up for my 90 minute teleseminar (which happens on Saturday). It’s free and here’s where you go to register.

Now for some Friday questions.

Vermonter17032 (as opposed to the 17031 other Vermonters) writes:

QUESTION: I'm wondering how show-changing decisions get made. For example, during the fourth season of Cheers, Lilith was introduced in one episode as a date for Fraiser. In season five, she was back in a larger roll one episode, and then a few shows later Fraiser and Lilith are cohabitating and she became a regular character. How does that process work? Did someone decide that Fraser needed a steady girlfriend/wife, or was Bebe just so good you couldn't keep her out of the show?

These are the happy accidents producers hope just fall into their laps. A guest actor happens to really score. So you bring them back and give them a little more to do. They hit it out of the park and eventually they wind up regulars. Lilith is a perfect example. As you mentioned, she originally was just slated to be in one three page teaser. Another example is Reverend Jim on TAXI. He was introduced in one episode as a guy hired to perform a marriage ceremony. And then there’s Klinger on MASH (who knew a guy in a dress would be funny?) These are gifts from God. Our reward for having to take stupid notes.

Sonia asks:

One of the best ideas I've seen in all these years was making Daphne getting fat because of her love for Niles. How did you think about this? How did you think it could work?

I wasn’t on staff of FRASIER at the time but I think this story turn was necessitated because Jane Leeves got pregnant. Quite a few producers have been faced with this writing challenge but I agree on FRASIER they handled it deftly and inventively. But with the FRASIER staff, would you expect anything less?

And Scott Siegel has two questions. Actually, three now that I think about it.

Who is your favorite writer, or what scene in a movie/tv do you wish you wrote?

Larry Gelbart is my all-time favorite. I assume you mean comedy. There are others I greatly admire but I don’t want to list them because I know I'll leave someone out. And then Woody Allen is calling me pissed. I don’t need the headache.

If I had to choose one single comedy scene I would say the “Putting of the Ritz” scene from Mel Brooks’ YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN. I laugh just as hard now as I did when I first saw it.

My next question is about those artists/writers that have given you praise for something you wrote (or said they wished they had written that). Are there any that really stick out in your mind and say, "Wow, that was special praise".

Alan Alda in an interview said that “Point of View” was one of his all-time favorite MASH episodes. I cherish that.

Director James Burrows surprised the heck out of me by telling a reporter that an episode we wrote of CHEERS, “The Big Kiss-Off” was one of his faves.

But the greatest praise, and I’m still stunned to this day, is that Kurt Vonnegut said on Charlie Rose that he wished he were good enough to write a CHEERS. Holy shit! I am still utterly blown away.

What’s your question?

In Praise Of Love Stories That Don't Insult The Audience

I hope that new movie starring Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler fails spectacularly. I want it to land in theaters with a thud, and for that thud to echo in the silence. I want the echo to reverberate all the way to the Hollywood offices of the people who green-lit another generic, candy-coated romantic comedy starring two gorgeous actors masquerading as regular people.

I don't have anything against Heigl and Butler, but for God's sake. The trailer for "The Ugly Truth" all but says, "Hey, women! You'll go see this because it's about romance and Gerard Butler may be shirtless at some point."

A romantic movie I'm much (much) more hopeful about is "Adam," the story of a woman (Rose Byrne) who falls for a man (Hugh Dancy) with Aspbergers Syndrome. Maybe "Adam" will turn out to be one of those too-quirky-for-its-own-good flicks, but the trailer is completely charming. Dancy doesn't appear to be playing his character as over-the-top odd, and at one point he says, "I'm not Forrest Gump, you know."

My interest in this movie is somewhat personal: My 9-year-old son is somewhere at the so-called mild end of the autism spectrum, and I've often wondered how he will navigate romantic relationships once he grows up. Like Dancy's Adam, he is personable and handsome, but he doesn't always grasp the subtleties of social communication. I hate the idea of that making life harder for him, but he's come a long way — and he's hardly alone. I'm sure there are plenty of adults on the spectrum who found love (all relationships are imperfect), and it's cool that a filmmaker is offering up that perspective.

"Adam" will probably make less in six months than "The Ugly Truth" will rake in opening weekend, but just knowing that it exists makes me feel better.

My 1500th post!

It seems like only 1300. My original reason for starting this blog was to hopefully entice an editor into buying one of my book ideas. So in that regard it’s been a total bust. But otherwise, this has been a great experience. You’ll excuse me for for getting a little nostalgic. Through this blog, over the last 3 1/2 years…

I got shut down once for being mistaken for a porn site.

I received a lovely note from Sky Saxon’s widow.

I pissed off Diana DeGarmo’s mother.

I’ve made friends with writers I otherwise never would have met. Mystery writers, playwrights, romance novelists, syndicated columnists, Pixar scribes, TV critics, food critics, bloggers, stand up comics, screenwriters with much bigger careers than mine, late night pundits, lyricists, Vanity Fair senior contributors, and television writers from many foreign lands including Canada.

I got invited to Porn Star Karaoke (that’s not why I was shut down).

Larry Gelbart once left a comment.

I launched free teleseminars. The next one is Saturday.

Hopefully my writing advice hasn’t sent too many people off in the wrong direction.

On occasion I have been almost as funny as Tallulah Morehead.

AMERICAN IDOL invited me to a taping. And I got to sit next to Sanjaya’s sister!!

I talked Earl Pomerantz into starting his own blog. Check him out. Who knew you didn’t have to be mean to be funny?

I get hate mail any time I post anything remotely political. Or mention Patricia Heaton.

I got death threats from Opie & Anthony fans.

The LONDON TIMES has re-printed my Oscar reviews.

I've provided some nice links to other sites. Does anybody even look at recommended links lists?

A few of you find my travelogues amusing.

I get to show off my talented kids.

My goofy contests proved to be a hit. Or maybe it was just the elaborate prizes that sparked your participation.

I’ve heard from network and studio executives, pleased about something I had written, not expressing shock I was still in the business.

The LA TIMES mis-printed something, which caused Aaron Sorkin to call me a disgruntled out-of-work writer.

I received a nice apology from Aaron Sorkin.

I got the opportunity to rally support for the Writers Strike.

The BBC interviewed me about the strike. They asked if the internet was having an impact? I said this was my fourth strike and you’ve never interviewed me before. They took that as a “yes”.

I’ve received Blog-SWAG like books, DVD’s, and an Astroglide travel mug. No, I was not shut down for that either.

I get to shamelessly promote my radio shows on Talkradio 790 KABC.

Nathan Lane took issue with something I said. Boy did he.

I've developed thick skin when it comes to AfterMASH...

And MANNEQUIN 2.

Colleagues I’ve respected did guest posts. Thanks again to Peter Casey, David Isaacs, Sam Simon, Bob Gale, Allan Burns, John Masius, and whoever I accidentally left out.

CNN.COM stole one of my post ideas.

I was able to show episodes of ALMOST PERFECT and BIG WAVE DAVE’S so even if only five of you watched, that’s five more than would have ever seen them otherwise.

I have something to post on Twitter that isn’t “I’m not really hungry but I could eat”.

The SITCOM ROOM got launched.

The producer of INSTANT BEAUTY PAGEANT got in touch to defend his show. No defense was necessary. I love that show. It’s the hosts I hate.

The HUFFINGTONPOST invited me to contribute pieces for them. So I get hate mail from their readers when I write anything vaguely political. Or about Patricia Heaton.

I get my mail mixed up with the Ken Levine who created BIO-SHOCK. Turns out I don’t have nearly as many fans as I thought I did.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY said nice things about me. That wasn’t always the case when I had shows for them to review.

I’ve gotten to introduce you to some wonderful writers you might not be familiar with like Treva Silverman, Jerry Belson, Bob Ellison, and Steve Gordon.

I get to write whatever I want and NEVER get notes.

And best of all, I’ve gotten to connect with great people like YOU.

Thanks so much for your support and bookmarks. On to the next 1500. Or at least 1300. You'd think one goddamn editor would find this site, even by accident.

Eliza Dushku and my swimming pool

I will not be attending COMIC-CON this year. I have my responsibilities with the Dodgers and well, I’m geeky enough as it is. But in honor of this gala celebration of sci-fi and Hasbro I will share a story about DOLLHOUSE. (There will be a whole panel discussion devoted to it so it qualifies).

One day last year we get a knock on our front door. My wife answers to find the location manager for a new pilot called DOLLHOUSE. It was a Joss Whedon production. She was aware of the name. He was my marching buddy one day on the strike line. Anyway, they were interested in using our pool for the pilot. They had been scanning GoogleMaps and from 300,000 feet our pool seemed to be the right shape and color.

He took pictures, said ours was one of a number they were considering, and gave her his number if we had any questions.

I came home that night and was not enthused. The thought of a film crew – sixty guys named Dave – trampling through my house and yard did not excite me. They always say they’ll leave the house exactly as they found it but do they really? What if they break my priceless bowling trophy? Plus, it’s just an invasion of privacy. I don’t want to be sunbathing nude while Dave, Dave, Dave, and Dave drag cables across the patio.

Plus there was a chance they’d want to film the second night of Passover, which is when we had 35 people coming to the house.

Yes, they pay you but weighing all the factors, it just didn’t seem worth it. I called the location manager, politely passed, and then, purely out of curiosity, asked what the scene was about. The conversation went something like this:

LOCATION MANAGER: Eliza Dushku would be swimming laps.

ME: Eliza Dushku?

LOCATION MANAGER: Yeah, she’s been cast as the star.

ME: Eliza Dushku? In my pool?

LOCATION MANAGER: Well, thanks for letting us take a look.

ME: Wait. Wait a minute. Eliza Dushku would be at my house? Swimming in my pool? Getting out and drying off? Maybe a few times? And you'd be paying me? Would I be allowed to be there?

LOCATION MANAGER: Of course. It’s your house. Have a good weekend.

ME: HOLD IT! Wait! I think we can do this. Yes. Definitely. I’m back in.

LOCATION MANAGER: But you said there was likely to be a conflict.

ME: What? The Jewish holidays? No, don’t worry about them. It's not like they’re carved in stone. Would I be allowed to invite my poker buddies?

LOCATION MANAGER: We found some other good pools anyway, so it’s really no big deal.

ME: Where? They can’t be as nice as mine. What if I waive the fee? The poker guys don’t have to come.

LOCATION MANAGER: Listen, I’ve got another call…

ME: Joss Whedon! He’s a very close friend of mine. I know he’s going to want to use my place.

LOCATION MANAGER: Well, you could always call him.

ME: I don’t know his number.

LOCATION MANAGER: Goodnight, sir.

ME: Tell ya what, could you have him call me? Ken Levine. We marched together at 20th. I wore the ALMOST PERFECT baseball cap. He asked “Was that a show?” Really. We got very tight.

DIAL TONE

ME: Hello…? Hello…?

They did not use my pool. Whoever’s pool they did use, they used multiple times. And the show’s been picked up for a second season so they’ll probably use that pool multiple times more. Oh, and they didn’t shoot during Passover.

So you talk about the one that got away. When they decide to stage SCHMUCK-COM, I’ll be hosting a session.