My trip to Boston: Manny Happy Returns

My long weekend in Boston actually began Thursday night in Los Angeles. The Lakers just beat the Celtics to win the NBA Finals and those classy Laker fans celebrated by setting cars on fire, running onto the freeway, and climbing up to the Metroline rails (those last two activities I approve of; fewer Laker fans for next time). So the freeway leading to the airport was snarled at 10:30 at night. I took the Redeye to Boston. Not that I can sleep on planes anyway but the flight was filled with drunks wearing Laker jerseys and Dodger caps. I hope they all left suicide notes. Jet Blue now charges $7.00 for blankets. And they were so flimsy you couldn't smother anybody!

Lots of intrigue on this trip – it was the first time once-beloved Bosox, Manny Ramirez had returned since quitting on the team and forcing their hand to trade him in 2008. And it was the first revisit of Joe Torre, the former Yankees skipper. So much to hate and now New England had the Lakers! Here’s how bad it was: Red Sox fans were chanting “Beat L.A.! Beat L.A.!” earlier in the week when the Sox were playing the Arizona Diamondbacks.

Personally, I had the added treat of hooking up with my son, Matt for the Father’s Day Weekend. How often can a father and son share a love for the game and root for opposite teams?

The Boston weather was absolutely glorious the first two days. 80 degrees, sunny, no snow. By day three there was 1000% humidity and ferocious thunderstorms but that still didn’t deter 37,430 Red Sox faithful from coming out and being Fenway’s 591st straight sellout. That’s impressive, especially since their promotion was “Lightening Night”.

But when the weather is nice Boston is a sensational walking city, which was very fortuitous since the two-mile trip from my hotel to Fenway Park was $15.80 by cab.

The reaction to Manny the first night was more cheers than boo’s (but this is the home of CHEERS after all). However, as the night wore on and alcohol levels increased the boos got decidedly louder. Had the game gone extra innings, by the 12th they would have booed Nelson Mandela.

And when all these plastered tosspots get in their cars and pull onto the highway there’s a gigantic sign right at the entrance imploring them to buy guns. The billboard is actually a joke but when you’re totally shit-faced I imagine the irony is somewhat lost on you.

My hotel was the Inter-Continental. It was quite lovely with first-class accommodations, but I don’t think I’ll stay there again. Way too far to walk to the nearest Dunkin’ Donuts. At least two blocks or $12 by cab.

Yes, I have pedestrian tastes but I prefer Dunkin’ Donuts to Finagle-a-Bagel.

The wildly popular Duck tours originated here. Boston is the only city where the majority of its buses float.

I passed by the Cheers bar several times and I always get a little choked up. I couldn’t help thinking, “Wow, they’ve made a lot of money off me.”

On Saturday my son and I took a tour inside the Green Monster (that large wall in leftfield in Fenway Park). It was like stepping into a scene from PAPILLON. A dank dark passageway with the back of the metal scoreboard on one side and antiquated concrete walls and pillars on the other. Two guys operate the lowest tech scoreboard since the Christians & the lions. They slide aluminum panels through slots. Amazingly, these two guys haven’t come out from inside that scoreboard since 1995. Leftfielders bring them food. Visitors are invited to sign the wall. All the greats from the game of baseball have lent their signatures. I signed right under Rachel Maddow.

In the Saturday game, Manny Ramirez hit a home run over the storied Green Monster and received the same reaction audiences have been giving THE A-TEAM.

After the tilt, Dodger owner Frank McCourt threw a fabulous party for the staff, players, and crashing Dodger Talk hosts. I mean, there I was, hob knobbing with Vin Scully I just wish I wasn’t holding that stupid blue drink in the cosmo glass at the time. Manny even showed up. Did I mention there was free food?

I brought some of the little pizzas they were serving to the scoreboard guys the next day. They were very excited and were going to store them for winter.

Father’s Day brunch was a delightful affair out in suburban Natick, home of New England’s biggest mall and Doug Flutie. Met Matt’s future in-laws and managed not to horrify them. I even refrained from doing my hilarious impression of Mary Tyler Moore throwing a baby in the air instead of a hat. Natick was so lush and green. I imagined it in the autumn with all the leaves turning vivid reds and golds and oranges, and witches been torched outside the Whole Food Market and I could really see the attraction for living out there. And there’s that mall!

The team charter left Boston at 1:30 in the morning following our third loss Sunday night. But we were first in line to take off, the pilot proudly announced. Yeah, well, who else has flights leaving at 1:30 Monday morning? It was a long flight – 6 1/2 hours. Fortunately they showed a couple of episodes of THE GOOD WIFE and that kept the players enthralled. I couldn’t sleep. The Flintones Ambien had no effect. By the time I finally staggered home it was 6 a.m./9 a.m body time. I had stayed up longer than Jack Bauer. Seriously, how did he last 24 hours without using the bathroom once? I don’t care if I’m in the middle of diffusing a nuclear bomb – if I gotta go, I gotta go.

All in all, it was a memorable Father’s Day trip. The only thing that could have made it better was if (a) I was with both my kids (Annie is so sweet: she bought me the latest NATIONAL EXAMINER with the headline demanding they re-open the Natalie Wood case now!), (b) I didn’t get drenched in a thunderstorm that heralded in the beginning of summer and Armageddon, and (c) the Dodgers had won even one of the three games. Just one!

It’s always emotional having to part with Matt. We really enjoy each other’s company and the separation is always hard. Well, harder this time for me. Matt was laughing his ass off. One goddamn game!

Oh well. At least we still have Manny. And no Laker fan set my car on fire while I was gone.

For the first time in 27 years: Watch the Lost CHEERS

Flew home on the redeye with the Dodgers after the Sunday night ESPN game in Boston. So as you read this I’ll be asleep (even if you don’t get to it until Thursday).

For several years I've been talking about the "Lost" CHEERS scene. David and I wrote it for the 1983 Super Bowl Pre-game show to promote our fledgling series. They ran it just before game time and it was seen by 80,000,000 people. Nothing we've ever written before or since has been seen by that many eyeballs at one time. But the scene was never repeated. It never appeared on any DVD's. It just disappeared.

Until now.

Sportswriter supreme, Joe Resnick has taped every Super Bowl including that one. And since the scene aired so close to the game it was on the tape. Thanks to friend of the blog, Howard Hoffman, he was able to digitize it and post it on YouTube.

So here it is. The Super Bowl is next. And here's the text of the script.

Revoltech #60 Enki

Bought this last year from a friend and have been kept in box since..lol
After finished watching the whole series of the anime last week I'm glad i already bought it.
it would be hard to find this one locally by now.
the series is great btw..it goes berserk all the way from the start till the end of the series..LOL

The main body

Fully Equipped

Its featured poses

The Quality of the figure is great with no incorrect molding or imperfect paint job.
the articulation is good enough to imitate its signature poses in the anime.
love it :)

Happy Father's Day

On this Father’s Day (the most sacred holiday of the year) I’d like to wish a happy one to my dad, who also happens to be my hero, mentor, and best friend. I love you, dad. I'm spending this Father's Day at Fenway Park with my son. How cool is that?

Here are some pithy Father’s Day quotes:

“To be a successful father… there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years.” -- Ernest Hemingway

“A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.” -- Gabriel Garcia Marquez

“If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.” -- Bill Cosby

“It is a wise father that knows his own child.” -- William Shakespeare (especially if the mother is Anna Nicole)

"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." – Mark Twain

“By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.” -- Charles Wadsworth

And finally, a salute to Screaming Jay Hawkins. Screaming Jay was a r&b/blues singer. His big hit was “I Put a Spell on You” in which he came out of a coffin. The man was a crowd pleaser. And also a lady pleaser it seems. Upon his death when it was time to divvy up the estate it was discovered he had 57 children. Screaming Jay will not be saluted on Planned Parenthood day.

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. Note to wives and daughters: Dad wants tickets to the ballgame today, not a lovely brunch.

Mr. Special Effects

Here’s a Friday question on Saturday. Joe Pontillo wonders:

Does David Isaacs have a blog? And if not, why don't we ever hear from him in guest posts on this blog?

David doesn’t have a blog. Trust me, he’d be telling you the exact same crap that I am. But he has guest blogged and it’s worth a reprise. He wrote one of my favorite posts of all-time, Mr. Special Effects. Here's the set up and David's "memo".

Once again it's time for a memo from Mr. Special Effects.

Now more than ever, showrunners are implored to KEEP THE BUDGET DOWN! Like that's ever been easy in Hollywood. This town is notorious for huge mark ups, studios charging their own shows outrageous rent for their stages and facilities, etc. And if God forbid you need a special effect look out. In writing rooms whenever we propose even the smallest stunt we turn to my partner, David Isaacs, who has created a great character – Mr. Special Effects. He will then describe what is required to pull the stunt off and how much it will cost. Here is an example, in the form of a memo.

And believe me when I say this is TYPICAL.

*******

Report from TV Special Effects Department:

RE: Frasier

Situation: In a dream sequence, Frasier is on the air and his board explodes.

Proposal---If I'm to understand correctly from our conversation you all want the entire radio board to explode in Frasier's (Mr. Gramner's) face. filling the studio room with smoke. It's quite a coincidence since my dad created the same effect for Mr. Al Ruddy for an episode of 'The Monkee's. (For your reference it's the one where the Monkees try to outfox a Russian agent played by Mr. Lloyd Bochner). The good news is that with all the advancements in explosive delivery it's a much easier effect. (The real reason you never saw Mr. Mike Nesmith at any Monkees reunion is that he had four fingers of his left hand blown off. It's certainly not true that he was sick of being a part of a third rate Beatles knockoff. That and feeling responsible for Yakima Canutt losing a testicle on "How the West was Won" haunted my father till he fell to his death rigging Mr. Demetrious 'George' Savalas for a jump off the Brooklyn Bridge in 'Kojack.)

Anyway, the effect is fairly simple, but of course we want it foolproof and safe. (within reason) First of all we will rig a series of explosive charges across the board. That will control the blast as oppossed to one big blast which is harder to control. I will set off the charges in sequence from a specially designed phaser. That should supply our explosion and still create the effect. We also set a charge inside the board so that in the case of a fire breaking out from the initial explosion (small possibility) I'll blow that charge which in turn would smother the flames. That, of course, would also preclude a second take.

Now I'm to understand that Mr. Gramner would like to do the stunt himself (concurrent with an 'Entertainment Tonight' segment profiling sitcom actors who do their own stunts.) That's fine but we will take the precaution of covering his body in an inch to an inch and a half of Vaseline Petroleum Jelly under a flame retardant herringbone suit. (It's uncomfortable but the guy works, what, twelve hours a week?) That will protect him vis a vis a mistake in explosion deployment. (Just to warn you in spite of caution it can happen---Sometimes to a serendipitous result. My dad worked for Mr. George Roy Hill on 'Butch Cassidy and the Sundance KId." Liitle known fact, the boxcar being blown to smithereens was not in the script. It was what we call in the S.E. business a happy accident. Thankfully the only injury was a prosthetic arm that was mangaled up pretty good. It belonged to my dad's assistant 'Spider' who had lost his real arm and half a foot working with my dad on 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'. Long story)

So we will protect Mr. Gramner. Safety for the cameramen and crew are at your discretion. Should be a do it every day, piece of cake effect. Still it's S.O.P. for me to ask you one question that's in the order of a final safeguard. Was there originally an actor you really felt could have played Frasier in the event that Mr. Gramner was unavailable or... "a handful"? Have to ask. It many times makes a tougher call but I will remind you of 'happy accidents'.

I'm going to ball park a cost for you then come up with a final tally later. I know you have budget concerns but it's a heck of a stunt. Figuring explosives , equipment rented from the studio electrical dept., special costuming from the studio costume dept., crew, overtime, dummy board and console from studio props, studio fire chief standing by, and I figure you'll want to throw in pizza for a hard working S.E. bunch, I think I can bring the whole thing off for you, on the cheap, for about 110 thousand dollars. Again that's if we're not figuring on another take.

Loved the script by the way.

Mr. S.E.

Friday questions

Hello from Boston where I survived the Redeye and I’m with the Dodgers for their big weekend series with the Red Sox. Manny Ramirez says hello to everybody, by the way. Here are some Friday questions from the home of Cheers.

LouOCNY gets it started.

My question is this: I recently saw a BECKER episode you directed where Gilbert Gottfried played a doctor even MORE obnoxious than Becker. The question that the whole world wants answered is: what is Gilbert REALLY like?? Is there a time where he is 'off', and fairly normal?

Gilbert was a lovely guy, surprisingly shy and low key. He even tended to underplay his character and I had to keep telling him to be more like “Gilbert”. He was too normal. One thing is certain though, he’s funny.

Anonymous wants to know:

There are the Archives of American Television which slowly manage to do interviews even with writers on some level. Ken, how come you haven't done one of these interviews yet?

Uh… no one’s asked me. And I’m sitting here in makeup.

From Stephen:

What does a show-runner do when there are too many regulars on a series? I look at shows like Will & Grace, which had 4 regulars through its entire run, and at shows like Grey's Anatomy, which at last count has 13 regulars. Can even the best writer in your experience serve every actor every week?

That’s a very sticky problem and there are two schools of thought on how you handle it. One is to service everybody every week, even if it’s with just a few lines. That’s why you see a lot of “B” stories in sitcoms. You’re looking for ways to wedge everybody in even if they don’t figure in the main story.

The other philosophy is to say to your cast “You’re not going to be heavy in every episode, you might not even be in every episode, but we will make you the centerpiece of several episodes so you just have to be patient and you just have to be a team player.”

This is even true in sitcoms. EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND only did one storyline per episode and had only five regulars and they still didn’t use everybody every week.

Personally, I’m in the second camp. You only have so much time and it’s hard enough to tell a good story without having to shoehorn lines in for actors who aren’t directly involved.

Anonymous has another question. PLEASE use your name.

A followup on the producer question -- what are the non-writing producers who aren't the line producer doing on the show?

They’ll tell you they’re shielding you from the network and studio and allowing you to devote your time to creative matters. But the truth is, for the most part, they do nothing but provide another level of obstruction, another layer of notes, and a partner you didn’t ask for to share some of your hard earned backend profits.

Here’s the bottom line: If you can do the show without them you don’t need them. And for years writers have been doing the show very nicely without them.

What is your question?

I hate Redeyes!

I’m one of those unlucky people who can’t sleep on planes. So I avoid Redeye flights whenever I can. Tonight, however I have to take one to Boston. There are no evening flights out of Los Angeles that don’t ask you to change planes in Dallas, Chicago, and Bogotá. You leave six hours earlier but still arrive two hours later and your luggage catches up to you Thursday.

So I’m on the Redeye. Fortunately, it’s JetBlue and they have those TV monitors at every seat. But it’s the middle of the night. There’s nothing on but informercials and the eighth repeat of Sportscenter. And you can't use your phone so I can't even ring up Miss Cleo's Psychic Hotline (I would like to know how the Dodgers are going to do against the Red Sox).

I can try to read but that’s still hard with my recovering eye. And I don’t have a Kindle or iPad yet and I find it’s hard to adjust the font size of actual books.

So I’ll twist and turn and try to sleep. If you have any suggestions I’d love to hear ‘em. I dunno. Maybe I'll just get one of those masks to cover your eyes like the pilots use.