KOMEDY KONTEST Semi-finalists

Again, congratulations to Doug McEwan, winner of the Komedy Kontest. Also congratulations to Steve Zeoli, cfang19, jbryant,and the always familiar z5CBuE8Z3PMf0Cc6FPnMApMnke0 for making the finals.

These are the other entries the judge liked and considered very seriously. Getting it down to five was a bitch. I’m sure I’m going to receive a few comments saying “this one” or “that one” was better than any of the five finalists but remember, this is all subjective. It’s the opinion of one person (granted, a highly regarded professional but still, just one person). I post these to show that there were a lot of great entries. And again, my thanks to all who contributed.

Ken

Danny had such a fear of commitment that he….

…revealed on the third date his plans for a Star Wars/Start Trek/He-Man themed wedding (ladies choice)

… just had his 13th sex change operation.

…abandoned every blog comment before fini...

...began his prayers with "To whom it may concern..."

... had "Whatsername" tattooed on his bicep.

... changed his name to Undecided Voter and moved to a purple state.

… signed his love letters “anonymous”.

...only dated Alzheimer's patients.

...booked his honeymoon flight on American Airlines.

... would only watch new TV Series starring Jason Alexander.

…refused to take his parents' name.

…only dated fictional characters.

…was never married to the mob, they just kinda hung out together.

...was murdered by customers behind him at Baskin-Robbins.

…only dated women on death row.

…refuses to read "Us" Magazine.

...only eats waffles.

...spends every Tuesday night dialing 1-877-IDOLS-ALL.

…named his cat "we'll see how it goes"

... would say, "I'm seeing someone else" if he was stranded with a blond on a desert island.

…only yells “NO DEAL” at the T.V.

…never took the wheels off of his trailer house.

…could crash weddings to cure his hiccups.

...said "Runaway Bride" was his favorite movie.

...made his outgoing answering machine recording a break-up message.

…dated only the skinniest pale women in the crackhouse.

...stopped eating cereal because every box claimed "some settling may occur".

…keeps introducing Marcy as his first wife.

…was recently featured on the program "Switzerland's Most Wanted."

…broke up with his speed dates before the 8-minute buzzer.

... got married but still lives with his parents.

BONUS!!!

Professional comedy writer Lenny Ripps was given this same assignment. Here's his response. (Lenny was not the judge, by the way).

Danny had such a fear of commitment that his bathroom towels were labeled "His" and "Whores".