My first mentor

Thanks to everyone involved in Sitcom Room 2008. It was a total blast. Details later in the week.

Here's another installment of my memoirs growing up in the 60s. This one deals with my early comedy influences and first mentor, since there were no seminars (or even hotels) in my day.1964

My birthday is February 14th. For everyone else it’s a day associated with love and an execution-like slaying in Chicago. For me it was sharing my birthday with a holiday that no one really celebrated in earnest. I said it was a day associated with love. Actually it’s more like the obligation of declaring your love. Forced gifts, forced flowers, forced romantic dinners. I always felt guilty that my birthday was just one more of those obligations.

My 14th birthday fell on a Friday so any restaurant that didn’t have a drive-through window was booked. But my mom suggested we have a party. It’s always borderline pathetic to hold a party for yourself at that age but I begrudgingly agreed as long as the guest list didn’t include both my friends and my grandparents.

Parties back then were incredibly lame. Everyone’s parents had to drive you and pick you up. We were too young to drink. Too young to smoke. Too shy to really fool around. What was left was ten awkward early teens listening to music, eating snacks, drinking Cokes, and not dancing. The Amish throw better bashes.

Gifts were traditionally 45 rpm records. I got all the new Beatles singles even though I already had all the new Beatles singles. (I wish I still had them today. I could retire.)

Quick side trip (I’ll be taking these from time to time): Not all of these Beatles singles were on the same label. Curiously, they were on five – Capitol, Vee-Jay, Atco, Swan, and Tollie. There must’ve been some complicated rights snafu but it also explains why so many songs were coming out at once. It’s not like Swam records had anything better to release.

A more eventful party a few years earlier was the one at Bonnie Burns’ house. For some reason there was a photo in her living room of Steve Allen. I loved Steve Allen. Once the host of THE TONIGHT SHOW, Allen then hosted variety programs on NBC and ABC that was far better and more cutting edge than THE ED SULLIVAN SHOW (as was LASSIE). I was first introduced to Lenny Bruce on THE STEVE ALLEN SHOW. And Bob Dylan. Even Kyu Sakamoto. Steve also surrounded himself with a hilarious cast of brilliant comedians – Don Knotts, Tom Poston, Bill Dana, Dayton Allen, Tim Conway, and one of my all-time faves – Louie Nye (pictured right).

There was a real sense of anarchy on his show. Allen frequently did inspired outrageous stunts. I remember one time he began his program by having a camera shoot from underneath a clear glass stage. He looked down at the camera and said, “What if a drunk suddenly staggered into your living room and saw this shot?” Wacky stuff you see on David Letterman – that all began with TV pioneers like Steve Allen (and also Ernie Kovacs).

I asked Bonnie why the picture of Allen and she said, “Because my dad is his head writer.” WHAT?! HOLY SHIT!! I was in the tract house of a GOD!

Most boys grow up and want to be baseball stars. Those boys had coordination. The first time I saw THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW I thought, “Wow, bitchin’ babes like Laura Petrie marry comedy writers? I’m a riot for 12. I could do that!”

It seemed like a great life. Hang out with other funny people. Make each other laugh. Get paid for it. And attract long legged brunettes without having to master the harmonica.

Stan Burns became my first mentor. When the guy who wrote for Steve Allen and GET SMART says you’re funny it means a lot. He would go on to create, write, and produce the series LANCELOT LINK: SECRET CHIMP. Picture a James Bond movie but with chimpanzees that could talk. It takes a special mind to come up with that, and a special courage to actually pitch it. Stan did and it ran for two successful years on ABC.

To this day people think I grew up in New York. They can’t believe a Jewish comedy writer could come from the West San Fernando Valley. Hey, some of the funniest shows in the history of television were written right there. Not by me but still.