Have you opened a paper or magazine in the last two weeks and not seen Jennifer Aniston? Did she finance MARLEY & ME herself? Granted, when your comedy co-stars are a guy who once tried to kill himself and a dog it’s understandable that you’ll be doing most of the interviews but still. Does anyone have her publicist’s number? I bet I can get her to come on Dodger Talk with me on KABC. If you have an internet podcast give her a call.Recently she posed nude for GQ magazine. Makes sense. That’s how I would promote a family dog movie opening Christmas day.
I can’t think of a single box office smash she has starred in. And yet, she receives this much attention. What it says to me is this : Jennifer Aniston is an official MOVIE STAR.
She’s got everything it takes. She’s beautiful. She shows her tits. She’s been dumped by a movie star for another movie star (that’s worth almost as much Hollywood heat as an Oscar), she dates other movie stars or rock stars, she’s not a Scientologist, and she gives really pithy quotes like, “What Angelina did was very uncool.”
So what if her filmography contains BRUCE ALMIGHTY, ALONG CAME POLLY, DERAILED, RUMOR HAS IT, and LEPRECHAUN? She gets on the cover of GQ. She shows up at premiers with John Mayer. The paparazzi count the number of times they hear her toilet flush.
About ten years ago I was in a movie theater on a Sunday night. Half empty house. Jennifer and Brad came in and sat down right in front of me. He looked scruffy, she needed a shampoo and was wearing glasses. No one bothered them. No one really gave a shit actually.
Here’s why at the end of the day I like Jennifer Aniston:
There’s no way she could do that today. There’d be photographers on my lap shooting the back of her head. There’d be guys on their hands and knees picking up her discarded popcorn kernels after she had left. And for all the attention and hype and fans who wear “Team Aniston” T-shirts, I bet she misses those days when she could just sit in the dark and be a schlump. That’s what I think the public senses too. She's a glamorous movie star but she's still one of us... occasionally... sometimes... on that odd Sunday. But that's enough. And that’s why ultimately her fans love her. And I do too – just not enough to spend eleven bucks to see her in a movie about a dog though.
Stay tuned for the finals of the Daffy Definition Kontest. They're almost here. Three judges have been hospitalized but the ones who are left have almost narrowed the 800 entries down to five.
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