The best of Rat Girl

I’m frequently asked what are my favorite scenes from CHEERS episodes my partner and I wrote? Here’s one. It’s the last scene of “Rat Girl”. Lilith had kept her dead lab rat in her purse. This, surprisingly, has caused an argument between her and Frasier. Below is their reconciliation. Sometimes you don’t have to joke up a scene. It’s okay to let characters have a real moment. Of course it helps if you do button it with a joke, especially if you’re lucky enough to have Kelsey Grammer deliver it.

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INT. BAR – DAY

LILITH ENTERS AND CROSSES TO FRASIER.

LILITH
Frasier, I owe you an apology. I haven’t been myself the past couple of days.

FRASIER
No, my dear, I trivialized your grief. A husband should be more understanding. Just help me, help me, meet me halfway. Why were you carrying a moribund rodent in your evening bag?

LILITH
I wasn’t planning to take him on our date. But I knew that if I left him at the clinic they’d have given him to the undergraduates to dissect. I couldn’t let that happen to Whitey. I just wanted to give him a decent burial.

FRASIER
I’m sorry. How could I have been so insensitive?

LILITH
Of course I overreacted, but I think I know why: I was confronted for the first time with the death of someone close to me.

FRASIER
I understand, dear. It’s what we call a crisis.

LILITH
I know what we call it, Frasier. (THEN) The upshot is, I’ve never been so acutely aware of how precious and fragile life is for each of us.

LILITH
Lilith, I think everyone would agree that existence is tenuous at best. Therefore, all we can do is embrace life. And you and I, we’re very fortunate. We have a baby. The very symbol of life reborn.

LILITH
Frasier, he’s no longer a baby. He’ll be going to school this September.

FRASIER
Yes, if we can successfully negotiate a pre-school interview without being cuffed and printed. (THEN) But you’re right, Frederick is getting older. You know, Lilith, there is a way we could renew ourselves yet again.

LILITH
How would we do that?

FRASIER
We could have another child.

LILITH
We could, couldn’t we? That’s a wonderful idea! Oh, Frasier, suddenly I’m filled with a glow. Let’s start right now.

LILITH HEADS FOR THE DOOR, FRASIER FOLLOWING. LILITH EXITS. FRASIER TURNS BACK FOR A MOMENT TO REFLECT.

FRASIER
It’s all so strange. A relatively insignificant creatures lives and dies. A marriage is jeopardized. A child’s education is almost destroyed. And yet, somehow, some way… I’m getting some action out of it!

AS FRASIER EXITS WE CUT TO BLACK.