America's newest and greatest reality show

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I could be the next reality show STAR!!! That little ditty could be my ticket to fame and fortune. Fuck AMERICAN IDOL and SURVIVOR. I’m going for the big prize! I’m applying to be on JINGLES.

CBS has ordered eight episodes of JINGLES – a Mark Burnett brainchild where aspiring singer/composers write and perform commercial jingles.

We’re American Airlines
Charging what we can get away with

Okay, maybe that one still needs work.

But the idea of this show is genius. Name me one true musician/artist who didn’t aspire to write the next Tidy Bowl jingle. Name me one singer who didn’t dream of having “Clap on/Clap off” as their signature song.

Talk to anyone in the business and they’ll tell you that next to songs about love, car rental is the next most popular subject.

And I bet you yourself have said on numerous occasions, “Songs today are way too long. Jesus, some of ‘em are even three minutes. I just want music. I don’t want a whole concert. Give me a good fifteen second song and let me go on about my life.” And the other good news with jingles is that instead of getting 200 songs on your iPod you can now get 1400.

You’ve met the man of your dreams
He’s all that he seems
He’s taking you out tonight
Everything has to be right
So before you leave
Use your Summer’s Eve

I don’t know who the judges will be but I just picture Barry Manilow, Ronald McDonald, and Heidi Fleiss.

I’m also guessing that each week the competition gets tougher until the final showdown where the last two standing have to find a rhyme for Preparation H.

Again, I think this concept is brilliant. After all, Americans can’t get enough of advertising as it is. I understand the main reason people get Tivo is so they can fast forward through the programs just to get to the commercials. And now that won’t be necessary. The commercials ARE the show. To paraphrase a jingle that would have won years ago: Television – You’ve Come a Long Way Baby”.

We’re American Airlines
Now charging for your life vest

Where do I apply?