Swingtown

The pilot of SWINGTOWN begins with the CBS station ID from 1976. It’s a nice touch but my first thought was – back then CBS would never air this shit. CBS was then the “Tiffany Network”. Their primetime schedule that season included ALL IN THE FAMILY, THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW, MASH, MAUDE, RHODA, THE WALTONS, THE BOB NEWHART SHOW, and CAROL BURNETT. Now they show live street fighting on the weekends and a drama about wife swapping.

SWINGTOWN wants to be a cross between BOOGIE NIGHTS and ICE STORM. Instead, it’s really CAN’T STOP THE MUSIC meets I WILL, I WILL…FOR NOW.
It’s set in 1976 and comes with all the requisite nostalgic touches. Eight track tapes, clunky phones, leather jackets, vinyl, disco balls, the fifteen most overplayed oldies from the 70s. Guys all looked like Tony Orlando, girls all looked like Charlie’s Angels. It was the sexual revolution. Anything goes. Drugs, open marriages, Plymouth Dusters.

SWINGTOWN would have you believe their little Cheeveresque bedroom community in suburban Chicago was typical of the times. Everyone swung, took Quaaludes, partied every night, had money, wore nine pounds of jewelry, and got into everyone’s pants but Marie Osmond’s.

The 70s I remember featured gas shortages, energy shortages, Richard Nixon, 13% interest rates on homes, a recession, the Ayatollah, Abba, and Captain & Tennille.

I must’ve lived in the wrong neighborhood.

SWINGTOWN is supposed to be provocative, shocking, an HBO type show. But it’s not. It’s on network television. So there’s no nudity, no sex – everything is off screen and implied. Wow! Not exactly the kind of show you guys are going to Tivo then sneak downstairs to watch at 4 a.m when the wife’s sleeping.

And then there are the other smaller problems – what the hell are we watching? Why do we give a shit about any of these people? Is there a point to all of this? Is every episode just going to be who slept with who? Is this even a real series? What do they do the third season? Tupperware orgies? Threesomes with Jehovah’s Witnesses?

Not that there will ever be a third season. Despite all the steamy hype, the first two episodes of SWINGTOWN got killed in the ratings by the NBA FINALS – which makes sense. At least the Lakers and Celtics showed some skin.