Sunday, September 14, 2008

The pre-pre-pre-Emmy show

This Sunday night is the primetime Emmys. I know it’s not a high priority so circle your calendar so you don’t forget. That goes for you nominees too. I will be reviewing them as usual.

To help whip you into an Emmy froth, let’s go back and relive some unforgettable moments that you forgot from past bitchy reviews:

First Emmy article in the LA TIMES Sunday CALENDAR section: Page six. Page one story: “Gidget gone global”.

I hope Doris Roberts bringing her grandchildren on stage doesn’t start a trend. Next year James Spader might bring up a hundred cats.

Where but the Emmys could Paul Newman and Brad Garrett actually be up for the same award? Or could Wayne Brady beat out Robin Williams for his work in improv?

And it’s the only competition where James Brolin will ever be nominated with Al Pacino.

Excellence in television was put into perspective when a YES, DEAR promo appeared on the Awards show.

This year the ceremony was held at the cavernous Shrine Auditorium. Capacity: everyone who ever watched HUFF.

Doesn’t Jane Alexander play a Roosevelt every year? Next year she’ll win for the Roosevelt Grier story.

I hope Larry David's loss doesn't derail his dream of becoming a serious actor.

I'm sorry Victor Garber lost. Without him ALIAS is just an exquisite girl running around in sheer clothing saving the world. Who would want to watch that?

Ali G. should be handling the celebrity interviews.

There was a tie for best Children’s Program: HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL and I HAVE TOURETTE’S. How do you choose? It’s the same show.

I love Mary Louise-Parker. For Billy Craddup to dump her for Claire Dames only proves what an idiot he is. Hope he was watching. How many awards have you won, Billy?

Every time I hear Mike Nichols speak I wonder where Elaine May is.

This isn’t the first time Alan Alda beat out a more deserving nominee. But I’ve gotten over it.

Nice tribute to Danny Thomas. Bet 90% of the audience had no idea who he was. But Marlo Thomas looked great. Even in the extreme close up -- a potentially very scary moment.

What was Warren Beatty doing there? Did he think he was getting a lifetime award for his groundbreaking work on DOBIE GILLIS?

This may be the last year of HBO’s dominance at the Emmys but more recognition is in their future. They should be scoring quite a few AVN porn awards next January with TELL ME YOU LOVE ME. Michelle Borth should beat out Connie Lingis for “Best Actress in an Oral Sex Scene” and the pilot script should triumph over “Lawrence of Her Labia”.

Evangeline Lily looks spectacular even when she’s not soaking wet or trapped behind bars.

Why was Charlie Sheen up for Best Actor and Jon Cryer up for Best Supporting Actor? In TWO AND A HALF MEN, is Jon the half?

Had to replay several times Barry Manilow’s final comment to Dick Clark. He said, “all right, Dick” not “I love Dick” as I first suspected (and hoped).

How LA is this? A winner at last week’s non-televised-so-who-cares ceremony brought his Emmy to the gym yesterday. The other Emmy winners who now can’t get jobs weren’t impressed.

Why do they still give an award for best main title design when no shows are allowed to have main titles anymore?

Can ANYONE remember last year's Movie of Week winner? And that includes the winners themselves?

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