Attention Academy Members

Back home in LA. My Hawaiian travelogue to follow very soon.

Meanwhile, it’s GREAT to be in LA this time of year. It’s empty. And if you’re a member of one of the industry guilds or academies you get into movies free. Any movie that hopes to have even a ghost of a chance of getting a nomination participates. Which means every current release except FUN WITH DICK AND JANE.

A few years ago there was an indie film I wanted to see and I had a day off. It was a Wednesday. I checked the paper and saw the only place that had a matinee was the Peppertree Theatre, way the hell up in Van Nuys or Granada Hills somewhere. Having nothing better to do I drove out there. Must’ve taken an hour. The Peppertree was an old Cineplex in a dingy shopping center that time had long since passed by. It's centerpiece might've once been a Montgomery Wards.

I went up to the girl at the boxoffice, told her the movie I wanted to see and handed her my WGA card.

She looked at it and said, “What’s this?” She must’ve been 17 at the most. I explained the deal. This movie was free to WGA members. She knew nothing about it. I said, check with your manager. He wasn’t there yet. I said, check the LA TIMES, under the ad you’ll see a notice listing qualified guilds. She didn’t have a paper. I said there should be a sign-in sheet around. Is there any way to contact the manager? I’m entitled to free admission!

She looked at me with a pained expression and said, “But tickets are only a dollar”.

If there was ever a country of schmucks I would be their king.