Random thoughts

Is there anyone the Carver on NIP/TUCK missed? Series regulars, guest stars, extras, crew members who came too close. I hope they didn’t auction off any walk-on parts for charity. When the Carver was finally revealed to be the weird doctor I felt very let down. First of all, how obvious. And secondly, I was praying it would be Joan Rivers.

The Man From U.N.C.L.E. is to James Bond what NIP/TUCK is to Quentin Tarentino.

Next year Sean’s daughter Annie enters the 5th grade and becomes the next Dr. Kivorkian while son Matt learns he’s really Hillary Clinton.

Bring on the SHIELD.

Why do writers have an inferiority complex? In KING KONG the heroric gifted playwright loses out to the ape.

I enjoy HOUSE even though I don’t understand half of what they’re saying. And that's without Hugh Laurie's British accent.

What hospital has glassed in patient rooms? That’s gotta be a treat using a bedpan while people walk by. The good news is you’ve got a private room. The bad news is it’s in Macy’s window.

FAMILY GUY now makes the SIMPSONS look like Willie Mays the last year he was playing for the Mets.

I can’t wait for 24.

I too have been getting coded messages from David Letterman. Whenever he says, “Paul Shaeffer, ladies and gentlemen” what he’s actually saying is “I stopped being really funny when Merrill Markoe left as my head writer”.

I love Christmas TV marathons. Gave me a chance to sip some egg nog and catch up on BEING BONADUCE. Danny is such a tortured self-destructive but bright guy I would love someday to sit down with him and ask with great compassion if Susan Dey really did fuck David Cassidy.

Big article this week in the LA TIMES Calendar section on why the movie industry is in shambles this year. Too bad that everyone it applies to or could benefit from it is out of town in either Hawaii or Aspen.

Howard Stern is a genius. He makes a $500,000,000 deal, abandons the fans that made him so popular, and they come out in the freezing rain to cheer him on his last day. And he did it without Karl Rove.

I hope Deborah Gibson wins the ICE SKATING WITH THE STARS show.

Al Sharpton now says he won’t do a sitcom. America has lost one of its great funnymen. But he is available for the next edition of ICE SKATING WITH THE STARS.

Free Lil’ Kim.

Hey, what about Danny Bonaduce as the Carver? Now that would have scared the shit out of me.

Attention waiters: WRITE IT DOWN!! You do not have to be “off book” on my order.

Unless you’re David Duchovny and you’re married to Tea Leoni, why would ANYBODY go to see FUN WITH DICK AND JANE? And even then, I bet if he just bought her some necklace from Zales he could talk his way out of it.

And finally, I’ve asked this before and I’m serious – how do they make dippindots?