UPN/WB we hadly knew ya...or watched ya

First off -- Happy Anniversary to my parents. 58 years on January 25th. There’s been some talk of divorce the last couple of days but I think they’re going to make it. I love you both and wish you many many more.

And speaking of marriages: UPN and the WB are merging.

1 + 1 now = 1

Thank God because here in LA maybe KCOP can go back to showing PERRY MASON reruns like did for thirty years (and got better numbers).

Not since Packard merged with Studebaker has there been anything this exciting. Both were out of the car business within a decade but still. (thanks to Mike McCann for that heads up.)

The name of this new network will be CW. Not great but better than WC which is the British nickname for toilet.

“See FRIDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN followed by GILMORE GIRLS tonight on CW. “

It’s like combining the best of Taco Bell and Popeye’s menus.

Does this mean that GIRLFRIENDS will no longer be on THREE times a week?

What happens to UPN news? Do they sell the three police scanners?

Now what’ll their excuse be when shows get a ,01?

Will the UPN online store have a big closing sale on AMERICA’S TOP MODEL hot shorts with logo?

Garth Ancier is the Reggie Sanders of TV executives.

***

What this really means is….

…you no longer have to Tivo CUTS when WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU is on.

…Lil’ Kim has a harder time getting that sitcom.

…one less major buyer, fewer shows, fewer choices, fewer jobs. And no one’s getting fat ‘cept Mama Cass.

…if you have a midseason show about to premiere on the WB you are fucked.

…if you have a pilot at UPN you’re in trouble, if you have a pilot at the WB you’re fucked.

…the merger of BET and the Hallmark channel can not be far behind.

…there will not be a sequel to “Decade of the WB”, the DVD you can purchase with highlights from the network’s first ten years. (I hope it includes clips from SIMON and CLEGHORNE! and GREETINGS FROM TUCSON.)

…Hollywood can still keep a secret when it wants to.

…we’re getting closer to the day when one giant conglomeration controls the entire entertainment industry. Let’s hope Eisner doesn’t come out of retirement.