Netflix pick of the month: ROMY AND MICHELE’S HIGH SCHOOL REUNION

Okay, I’m a little biased because it was written by my ALMOST PERFECT co-creator Robin Schiff, but ROMY AND MICHELE’S HIGH SCHOOL REUNION is (as Romy or Michele might say) “a good movie… a really good movie!”

One reason why is that Robin was the only writer on the film. It didn’t get passed around from screenwriter to screenwriter like Marilyn Monroe at a Kennedy family weekend. The voices and attitudes are so clear, so hilarious, and so fresh. Where are you going to hear dialogue like this?

Romy: Swear to God, sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.
Michele: Do you want to try to have sex sometime just to see if we are?
Romy: What? Yeah, right, Michelle. Just the idea of having sex with another woman creeps me out. But if we're not married by the time we're 30, ask me again.
Michele: Okay.

I’m guessing it’s not hard to surmise the plotline of ROMY AND MICHELE’S HIGH SCHOOL REUNION. Romy (Mira Sorvino) and Michele (Lisa Kudrow) are two loveable daft losers who attend their tenth reunion and make up stories to impress everyone. Michele encounters fellow classmate, Christie while Romy is with heartthrob Billy:

Christie: So, Mi-chelle! What are you up to?
Michele: Oh, okay. Um, I invented Post-Its.
Christie: No offense, Michele, but how in the world did *you* think of Post-Its?
Michele: Uh...
[looks across the room at Romy talking to Billy Christianson]
Romy: And I thought of them completely by myself. I mean, all Michele did was say: "What about making them yellow?"
Michele: [turns to the A Group] Actually I invented a special kind of glue.
Christie: Oh really? Well then I'm sure you wouldn't mind giving us a detailed account of exactly how you concocted this miracle glue, would you?
Michele: No. Um, well, ordinarily when you make glue first you need to thermoset your resin and then after it cools you have to mix in an epoxide, which is really just a fancy-schmancy name for any simple oxygenated adhesive, right? And then I thought maybe, just maybe, you could raise the viscosity by adding a complex glucose derivative during the emulsification process and it turns out I was right.

What fun goofy stuff! R&M’s worldview is so deliciously askew that the real fun of the movie isn’t following the story (although the story does zip along) but just getting their take on things. Weight for example:

Michele: Remember the prom? You got so thin by then.
Romy: Oh, I know. I was so lucky getting mono. That was like the best diet ever.

Romy: I've been killing myself for eight days and I gained a pound.
Michele: That's impossible. Did you deduct sixteen pounds for your shoes?

Michele: Did you lose weight?
Romy: Actually, I have been trying this new fat free diet I invented. All I've had to eat for the past six days are gummy bears, jelly beans, and candy corns.
Michele: God, I wish I had your discipline.

And one of Robin Schiff’s favorite targets:

Michele: You know, even though we've watched Pretty Woman like thirty-six times, I never get tired of making fun of it.

Romy: Aw, look, poor thing - they won't let her shop. Yeah - like those salesgirls in Beverly Hills aren't bigger whores than she is.

ROMY AND MICHELE’S HIGH SCHOOL REUNION came out in 1997. I guess there could be the sequel showing them at their 20 year reunion. And they could be up to their same old tricks. Instead of Michele saying she invented Post-It’s she could now claim she’s the former governor of Alaska.