My Oscar rant continues

No wonder everyone turns down hosting the Oscars. It’s like walking into a propeller. Jon Stewart did as well as could be expected for any rookie. And yet, I see he’s getting a shitload of criticism.

First complaint: He was nervous at the start. Well, DUH!!!

He was playing to an audience of 5000 clenched sphincters.

He was totally out of his element.

Half the viewing audience was Red State idiots who would have only been happy if the cast of HEE HAW hosted the event.

A billion people who can’t speak English were judging him worldwide.

And the blood of big name past hosts who bombed is what gives the red carpet its color.

Second: He caused the ratings to be down this year. This only reinforces Hollywood’s total disconnect with the public. The ratings were down because no one saw the nominated movies or gave a shit! The Oscars have become the Tonys (except if they were the Tonys BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN would have won).

Third: He’s being blasted for his best line of the night – “Number of Oscars…Three 6 Mafia 1, Martin Scorcese 0”. It’s a racial slur, shows a lack of respect, yada yada.

Gosh, have we learned nothing from our vaunted Best Picture CRASH??? Why can’t we all just learn to get along, people???

Here’s the truth: “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp” is a horrible song. Maybe the worst Oscar winning song EVER. And as for not receiving their proper respect, Three 6 Mafia are the same wordsmiths that gave us such timeless gems as “Slob On My Knob”, “Pussy Got You Hooked”, and “Sippin on Sizzurp”.

GET REAL!

I hope Jon Stewart is asked back. Next year he’ll be less nervous, maybe a movie that isn’t a big lesson will be up for awards, and Martin Scorcese will at least tie the score.

Oh, and one other thing while I’m ranting. All through the show the Academy’s message was bludgeonly clear – see movies on the big screen not on DVD’s. So what do they do? Show montages all night long of classic movies that are ONLY available on DVD. When was the last time you saw KEY LARGO at your local Cineplex?