My kind of town

Since it was 80 degrees in Los Angeles in late October, I figured, what better time to go to Chicago? Visited our daughter, Annie, who has so many projects and activities going at Northwestern we were lucky to have time to take her out for nice meals and buy her things at Target.

Our stewardess was Roy Rogers’ granddaughter. From one stuffed horse to another, she now works for Southwest Airlines.

I always love going to Chicago. Great food, great people, and statues of baseball announcers. If only their weather didn’t combine the worst of Siberia and Death Valley.

The weather forecast for our arrival was snow. It was 63 degrees and clear. Who are these weathermen and why aren’t they the President’s foreign advisors?

It was the big Northwestern homecoming weekend. In an attempt to silence once and for all those who believe their football program is a perennial embarrassment, the Wildcats took a commanding 38-3 lead over Michigan State late into the third quarter. They lost 41-38. It was the greatest comeback in Division 1-A history. The headline in the Sun-Times was “A Cat-aclysmic collapse”. On the plus side, they weren’t playing the University of Miami so none of their players got hurt in a brawl.

Not a lot of celebrating in Evanston on Saturday night. The big homecoming event was disassociating yourself from the university. 38-3 then lose?????

Stephen Colbert appeared in the homecoming parade. Ferris Bueller did not.

First snowfall this year in Chicago: October 12 – earliest on record. But there’s no Global Warming.

Everyone talks like Joan Cusack.

God has retired. Lyle Dean, the legendary local radio newsman has hung up his headphones after forty years of scaring the shit out of listeners on WGN and most notably, WLS, Chicago (back in their heyday). When HE said it was going to snow, even if it was 63 degrees you’d drive around with chains on your tires. What an incredible voice. What a nice man. A recent publicity photo of him just shows a burning bush.

Lame tourist attraction: the nearby city of Cicero, home of Al Capone. Not much has changed. The mayor is currently serving time.

The LaSalle Bank Chicago Marathon was Sunday. As I watched the only 40,000 healthy people in Chicago take off from the starting line, I thought to myself, “Some of these people have to die before me.” The Boston Marathon has its “heartbreak hill” which is really a killer. The equivalent here is that runners have to go by Gino’s East Pizza.

Temperature at the start of the race: 35 degrees. They should rename the event the Chicago-Read Mental Health Center Marathon.

My daughter’s friend is a theater major at Northwestern. One of her courses this quarter is “Fairies in Musical Theater.” Is a comment even needed???

There’s an egg salad recall in Illinois. People are advised to stick to their diets of gyros, steaks, and pork ribs.

No wonder there are so few Oldies stations anymore. The one in Chicago had a commercial for urinary incontinence.

But at least John Records Landecker is back on the air. Listeners can “save a thousand dollars a year on pads” and hear one of their favorite D.J.’s.

Wind chill factor: nature’s botox.

Sunday is the end of Daylight Savings Time. Chicagoans are being asked to turn their clocks back one hour and take in any ceramic swans that are still on their front lawns.

Nice to see Roger Ebert back reviewing movies in the Sun-Times. Thumbs up on his recovery.

In the Evanston Barnes & Noble the “Diseases” section is right next to the “Cookbooks”. Egg salad recipes appear in both.

Bowling is illegal in Evanston (this is true). So is skipping, snowball fights, and trick or treating. There are a lot of eight year old Spidermen and princesses with rap sheets.

What should be illegal are ceramic swans and blowing a 35 point lead late in the third period. Sarah Lawrence couldn’t do that.

I bet on ebay you can find a lot of Northwestern “Homecoming 2006” garb this week. CHEAP!!

Must go. Light snow flurries have begun and there’s fear they’ll close O’Hare for six months.