This week's ratings

GREY’S ANATOMY was number one. It’s a can’t miss concept. ER with sex. CSI is trying to counter but finding it hard to make necrophilia sexy. Perhaps with the right stunt casting…?

1 vs 100 opened big. Three models from DEAL OR NO DEAL are in the “mob” of 100 contestants going against the main player. If the main player answers a question wrong and all three models answer it right the player is not only eliminated, he’s killed for being too stupid to live.

HEROES is a legitimate hit. SMALLVILLE on a real network.

Matthew Perry’s new post-FRIENDS show, STUDIO 60 retained just 54% of its lead in audience. Matt LeBlanc can now feel better about JOEY.

Remember when we all went to CBS for our news? Now we go to COMEDY CENTRAL.

Katie Couric’s newscast is dead last among the big three. Maybe her signoff should be, “Please don’t leave, too.”

TBS will air the NLCS next year. First time a baseball championship series won’t be on over-the-air TV. Maybe that’s because no over-the-air network wanted it. Ratings for this year’s playoffs are so bad a boxing match on SPIKE beat an AL game (seriously). Fox is actually looking forward to the day it can put STAND OFF back on the air.

NBC is crowing that they’re the only network with increased 18-49 audience. What they don’t say is that it’s because of FOOTBALL! MY NAME IS EARL at 41 is not bringing up the average.

If ESPN were eligible, MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL this week would have ranked 27th in the national ratings.

More NBC spin: 30 ROCK (which finished third) drew 32% more 18-49 viewers than E-RING did last year in that time slot. Kick ass! Omitted from the story was that E-RING was immediately cancelled.

New sitcoms are tanking left and right. Is it because audiences no longer want to see sitcoms? No. It’s because audiences no longer want to see BAD sitcoms. Recycled TV stars in inferior vehicles with inferior writing. How many times do we have to see Jere Burns?

Selma Hayek will guest on UGLY BETTY during sweeps. The show will be renamed that night UGLY EVERYONE ELSE.

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS deserves a better time slot.

THE NINE might not make it to eight.

Going through the ratings I discovered, hey, THE BACHELOR is still on.

And finally…

QUE HAY DE NUEVO on Telemundo finished last at 139. And I thought it was one of their better episodes.