Diss 'n dat 6 (66)

Happy 6-6-6. I’m celebrating by getting my Dirt Devil fixed.

Bookies are now taking bets on boxoffice performance. So just as it’s illegal for a fighter to take a dive, any studio that hires Rob Schneider should be arrested for purposely tanking a movie’s chances.

I doubt if bookies are getting any action on next Sunday’s Tony Awards. Unless it’s the over-under on how many people even know the Tony Awards are next Sunday. Sight unseen, take the under.

The Tonys, by the way, is the only awards show where the winners never thank their wives.

My son, Matt now has his own blog, DIRTY WATAH. It’s his daily rant about the Boston Red Sox. I’ve added it to my links section. I’m starting to worry that my son is right on the dangerous cusp of “Fever Pitch” but his musings are insightful and funny and well worth a look.

For the third week in a row, movie audiences have flocked to pictures the critics panned. And in the case of MI:3, they stayed away from a critics’ darling. I’d like to think this means critics have less influence. I’m sure what Hollywood gleans from this trend is that it’s okay to keep making bad movies.

Kelsey Grammer as an X-MAN mutant? I haven’t seen the movie yet but what is his power? He can turn any gathering into a farcical dinner party?

Audrey Tautou now joins Irene Jacob in my “Pepe LePew category” (French women I lust after and have no shot with).

TV drama writers – welcome to the TV comedy writers nightmare. The evil reality show menace has invaded your territory, too. With shows like LAGUNA BEACH and now the new CBS entry, TUESDAY NIGHT BOOK CLUB” the “docu-soap” is born. Networks are saying that following the romantic struggles of real people instead of scripted ones might be the audience’s new preference. If so, there goes the next five Selia Ward series.

Apparently, on that BOOK CLUB show there’s an episode dealing with a “Key party”. That’s where suburban couples get together, drop their car keys in a bowl, the women reach in, select a key, and whoever it belongs to she sleeps with that night. (Remember ICE STORM?) Do these things really exist? I mean, REALLY? I’d be more excited if I had better looking couple friends.

A week doesn’t go by when someone doesn’t say they just discovered BECKER and what a great show it is. (I wrote, directed, and consulted on the show) Interestingly, that never happened when the show was on CBS…for FIVE years.

What am I going to do now that the SOPRANOS are done? I haven’t been following BIG LOVE. Has he married Za Za Gabor yet?

Fucking DEADWOOD fucking returns for another goddamn motherfucking season.

If Keith Richards had any brain damage from his fall, how would anyone know?

Katic Couric hopes to end the “pretentious era” in news. Meaning, she’ll be reporting on the Iraq war from the Macy’s Day Parade.

Seth MacFarlane from FAMILY GUY is the commencement speaker this year at Harvard. At first blush you might be thinking, how low has this self-proclaimed most prestigious institute for higher learning sunk? Didn’t they used to get presidents and Nobel prize winners to do that? Yes, but that was in the days when Harvard graduates sought to enter the world of finance, or politics, or law. Today they all want to be comedy writers so it makes perfect sense. Who needs a Harvard education today when you can sign up for Judy Carter’s Comedy Workshop?

Big week for Paris Hilton. She’s kicking off the 4th season of SIMPLE LIFE (this year trying to blend in in a Kibbutz), AND she has a new reggae single out (“Stars are Blind”…and apparently deaf too). I hear she’s such a good singer she’ll make you forget all about Jennifer Lopez.

Idea for a satanic buddy movie: ROUTE 666.