Tony review

I'm in New York and was unable to watch the Tonys. But my daughter, Annie did and files this report:

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Tony Tony Tony

Half of this year’s best musicals were supposed to take place in Jersey. Clearly somebody
made an offer than the Tony Committee couldn’t refuse.

And I just have to say that I cannot believe they turned “The Wedding Singer” into a
musical. What’s next? Billy Madison? Water Boy? Or perhaps a musical version of
“Spanglish” featuring such hit songs as" “Please don’t fall asleep, it’s not even intermission”"
and “"Where are you going? The show’s not over.”"

The song “"Hell No”" was performed from “The Color Purple,” which is appropriate since
tha't’s probably what most people said upon hearing that they were turning Alice Walker’s'
book into a musical.

I do not get the huge Harry Connick Jr. appeal. He was probably the only straight person
there aside from Joe Pesci, and I still didn’t find him all that attractive.

Jesus, does Hal Prince really need another Tony? A couple more and he'’ll have a full
backgammon set. It’s like giving Oprah more money for producing a Broadway Show
Oh, wait—t, hey did that too.

I was so thrilled to watch Andrew Void Webber lose. He only got one nomination for that
awful musical and couldn’t even take that home. I love it!

And for those of you keeping score at home here you go:

• Number of unenthusiastic British winners who claimed to be “astonished”: 4
• Number of Female Make-Out Scenes: 2
• Number of Northwestern Alums:0
• Number of jaws that dropped when LaChanze won: 6, 000
• Number of jaws that dropped upon learning that Patricia Neal is still alive: 6, 000
• Number of People who could understand Rosie Perez: 0

And here are a couple awards of my own:
• Best Gay Actor portraying a straight role: Cynthia Nixon
• WORST Gay Actor portraying a straight role: Nathan Lane as Oscar Madiso
• Person I would LEAST want to run into in a dark alley: Michael Cerveris
• Coolest Name: Željko Ivanek
• Best Comeback from a washed-up 80’s star: Cyndi Lauper
o Runner up: Molly Ringwald
• Worst acceptance speech: John Lloyd Young

you can now afford therapy, use your
acceptance speech for something else.