Our first assignment

Today marks the 31st anniversary (yikes!) of the first assignment my partner, David Isaacs and I ever did. It was an episode of the JEFFERSONS. (Who better than a couple of Jews, one from the San Fernando Valley?) The staff was very happy with our script. We got our first MASH assignment based on that draft. And yet we never did another JEFFERSONS. And almost never did another episode of any show. Here’s why.

The JEFFERSONS taped each show twice. First at 5:30 for one studio audience and then again at 8:00 for a second audience. The best performances of the two shows were melded together.

We showed up for the 5:30 taping and couldn’t be more excited. One of the executive producers, an older gentleman with a hearing aid, did the warm-up. Throughout the taping he was introducing everybody on the staff and crew to the audience. Everybody but us. By the end of the show he was asking the crowd to give a nice round of applause to the cable pullers. Still no acknowledgement of the writers. (Back then I was surprised.)

The show ended and we figured it must’ve just been an oversight. We saw him between shows. He said it had gone great, he was very pleased. We didn’t want to be schmucks and bring up the oversight so we just let it slide. But he knew we were there. Maybe he didn’t know we were at the first taping.

For the 8:00 show we had invited everyone we knew. Parents, relatives, close friends, agents. Again, this exec producer began introducing everyone and his brother but us. The craft services guy got a big intro. Finally, my agent raised her hand and asked, “Who wrote tonight’s show?” The exec producer hemmed and hawed.

I was sitting in the front row. And my date for the evening was a hot looking Carla Tortelli type from New York. When the exec producer stalled she yelled out, loud enough for him and the entire audience to hear:

“THEY’RE SITTING RIGHT HERE, FUCKER!!!!”

I’d like to think the longevity of my career can be traced directly to never bringing her again to a taping.